In the End
by Crimson Lipstick
Summary: Chronicles Rogue's life from the beginning of her downward spiral to her tragic death… COMPLETE! PLEASE READ AND REVIEW!
1. She's just a red haired bitch

**Title: **In the End

**Author: **Crimson Lipstick

**Rating: **PG (Will go up)

**Category: **Angst/Tragedy (Applies more to later chapters)

**Summary: **Chronicles Rogue's life from the beginning of her downward spiral to her tragic death…

**Chapter 1**

"Rogue! _Rogue!_ Rogue, wake up!"

Rogue moaned and turned over, pulling the sheets firmly over her head. It seemed to her that she had just fallen asleep an hour ago.

"Rogue, come on! If you don't wake up now you'll be late for like the third time this week!"

"Ah don't care," Rogue's voice echoed from under her quilt, "Tell Scott Ah'm feeling sick."

"Rogue! I am not lying for you! Again!" Kitty reached forward and yanked the sheets away. Rogue winced as the bright light hit her and immediately closed her eyes.

"Kitty," she pleaded.

"Rogue," Kitty said, "Just get up. You know how pissed Mr Summers gets when we're late."

Rogue sighed and opened one eye, noticing how Kitty had said 'we're' not 'you're'.

_Can't she just go by herself for a change?_

"Rogue, please just get up!" Kitty was almost begging her.

"Ah guess it wouldn't be fair to get you into trouble as well," Rogue said finally, guilty for her last thought.

"Thank you," Kitty smiled brightly, "And besides we get the afternoon off! We can like go to the mall!"

Rogue swore, grabbed the sheets and immediately buried herself under them again.

"What?" Kitty sounded hurt. After all she was talking about the mall for god's sake! _The _mall! It was like her second home! Actually third, the mansion was kind of her second….

"It's June," Rouge interrupted Kitty's train of thought.

"So?"

Rogue sighed, "All the clothes in the shops are sleeveless, skimpy and midriff bearing! There is no way Ah can where any of that, without killing y'all!

Kitty looked apologetic and frowned, "You don't have to like cover up like all the time. I mean everyone knows better than to touch you."

_Everyone knows better than to touch you._

Rogue winced. Was that how the rest of her life was going to be?

"Rogue?"

"Well what happens if Ah bump into someone? If someone trips accidentally and grabs me? Then what?"

"If, Rogue, _if._"

Rogue didn't answer and instead stared at the ceiling. She didn't have the strength to argue with Kitty and besides Kitty _was _trying to help her.

Kitty must have sensed she had upset Rogue.

"Like, I'm sorry Rogue. I'm –I'm just-"

_God! Ah must be such a bitch for Kitty tah be scared of me!_

"Hungry?" Rogue smiled slowly, "You better go Kit-Kat if you want tah get some breakfast.__

"You want to come?" Kitty asked.

"Nah," Rogue said, "Ah gotta change and find mah books."

"Okay," Kitty grabbed her bag, "I'll see you in class."

"Bye," Rogue said to the retreating figure.

The door closed gently.

Rogue heaved a sigh and spoke to the to the walls, "Another day. Yay!"

Yawning, she slowly pulled her covers off. She swung her legs over the bed and found her brush. Running it through her hair, she lumbered over to the mirror that decorated Kitty's open wardrobe door.

Ah, there she was.

A girl around seventeen. Average height, medium build, green eyes. Her most prominent feature was her hair; long and dark brown it had two white streaks that framed her face. She looked quite pretty actually; mostly due to fact her pyjamas were the one piece of clothing she owned that showed flesh.

"Ah guess Ah gotta change," Rogue sighed again, knowing what would happen when she opened her closest.

Oh yes. It wasn't as if she had no clothing, on the contrary she had as many clothes as Kitty. But all Rogues' were long, baggy, around the same colour and covered a different part of her body, whether it be her elbows or stomach.

Rogue grabbed clothes at random.

Jeans, jumper, gloves, boots. It didn't matter if they didn't match. All her clothes looked the same.

_Ah gotta snap out of this self pity crap. It's mah own fault Ah don't have a wide variety of clothes._

She pulled on her clothes in a hurry and hurriedly brushed her teeth. There was no time to have a shower so she made do by washing her face

That done she dared to explore the underworld, otherwise known as the space under her bed. Sure enough, wedged between her Elephunk CD and a pair of elbow length gloves, were her math books.

She didn't look at her mirror again. There seemed no point.

Instead she marched purposely out of the room.

The day had begun.

By the end, she would want to forget it had ever existed.

* * *

"Look! A third off! Wouldn't it be like cool if it they had one in your like size?"

Jubilee rolled her eyes at the valley girl, "You're forgetting the fact that I'm like five foot one. There won't be any clothes in my size."

"So? You can always like get it altered! What do you think, Rogue?"

Rogue shrugged, "Ah think you're lucky that you won't kill someone bah wearin sumthin two sizes big."

Jubilee raised one eyebrow delicately, "Someone's in a bad mood."

Rogue sighed, "Sorry, Jubes. It's just that Ah'm having a really bad day."

"Yeah I know," Kitty said, "But you didn't really have to like throw your math book across the classroom. You're lucky Mr Summers didn't give you detention."

Jubilee grinned impishly, "It was kind of funny."

"Yeah," Rogue smiled, "Ah pretended it was the Logan inside me that prompted me to express my utter hatred towards geometry."

She stopped short, silent for a moment, as she thought of the Canadian in question.

_When is he coming back? It's been six months…_

Her thoughts were so focused that she missed the look passed between Jubilee and Kitty.

Kitty cleared her throat, "Changing subjects… Jubilee, look I found a size six!"

Jubilee squinted her eyes as she inspected the tank top "It's too dark for me. If it were a brighter colour…"

"What's wrong with dark green?" Rogue ran a coated finger down the top, "I like it."

"Then buy it!" Kitty exclaimed, "It's like a bargain!"

Jubilee shook her head sadly, "Kitty if you want people to take you seriously in life, I advise you go brunette."

"Very funny."

"You know Ah can't buy it. Ah…"

"Yeah we know. But if you wear it with your gloves…"

"They'll still leave some flesh exposed."

"But who's going to touch your upper arm. I mean especially since you broke up with Bobby."

"Jubilee!" Kitty sounded scandalized.

"Well I'm sorry. It does give Rogue more reason to buy it though."

"Don't worry," Rogue carefully placed the top back into the rack, "Ah'm not going tah buy it."

"Rogue…"

"Ah don't have money, okay Kitty? Look, why don't ya go and buy that skirt, already? It looks great on you," she added quickly as she realized how bitchy she had sounded.

Kitty shrugged and picked up the mini, "Okay."

They walked in silence to the counter, where a tall blonde stood. Rogue read her nametag: 'Nicole'.

"I love that skirt," she gushed as they paid, "I have one like that, but in red. I've had it for so long and it hasn't as stretched so much as inch!"

_Yeah, right. Is it just me or do all sale assistants say the same thing?_

"And it's on sale too!" Kitty added.

"You're lucky," Nicole said as she folded the skirt, "Today was the last day!"

Rogue couldn't help snorting.

Nicole cast a cool glance at her, "What's the weather like outside? I thought it was going to be around ninety today."

"It's more like hundred," Jubilee said.

"Oh," Nicole gave Rogue the once over, "I couldn't tell."

Rogue took a breath and bit her lip to stop herself retorting.

Kitty didn't appear to hear and Jubilee had wandered off to look at the sunglasses.

Another sales assistant walked over, flipping her red hair in the process, "Anyone need anything?"

"No," Rogue said quietly.

The red haired took one look at her before bursting out in laughter.

Even Kitty couldn't ignore this.

"Aimee!" Nicole scolded, her lips twitching, "They're customers!"

"Sorry,' Aimee apologized, "But like gloves? A jumper? In summer! Aren't you taking this Goth thing a little too far?"

"Listen," Kitty began, her eyes narrowing in anger.

"Ah'm not a freaking Goth," Rogue said quietly, turning on her heel and marching out of this shop.

_Ah'm not taking this crap._

"Rogue!" Kitty called after her.

Rouge ignored her and marched down the mall.

_How dare she? Ah am a human being! No wait, Ah'm a mutant! One with a very crap power, come tah think of it._

Rogue quickened her pace.

How she would love to say that it hadn't hurt.

That it didn't matter.

That she didn't care.

But it had hurt.

It did matter.

_She _did care.

_Does everyone think the same thing when they see me? Am Ah a freak?_

Rogue slowed her stride as she walked through the automatic doors and realised her next dilemma.

"Great! Kitty has the keys," she sighed and slumped down on the first bench she saw.

"She's just a red haired bitch," Rogue muttered under her breath as some means of comfort, "She doesn't know what she's going on about. God, is it just me or is it hot?"

She stopped short, realizing what she had just said. Swearing, she lowered her face into her hands and stared at the ground miserably.

_Why me?_

****

**Whoa, this chapter was longer than I expected! I'm sorry about the slow start, but the fact is you don't wake up one day all of a sudden and go, "I'm going to kill myself!" This chapter shows the beginning of Rogue's depression, which will grow with every chapter. Anyway, please review! Feedback is appreciated!**

**Crimson Lipstick**


	2. I don't appreciate being lied to

**Title: **In the End

**Author: **Crimson Lipstick

**Rating: **PG (Will most probably have changed with next chapter)

**Category: **Angst/Tragedy (Applies more to later chapters)

**Disclaimer: **I forget to put this in the first chapter. I DO NOT OWN X-MEN.

**Summary: **Chronicles Rogue's life from the beginning of her downward spiral to her tragic death…

* * *

**__**

**MorriganFearn:** Thanks for all your reviews! I really appreciate them. It's great that you like this story. You'll find out a little bit about what happened to Bobby and Rogue in this chapter. 

**Enchantedlight: **I updated this chapter as fast as I could. Hope you like it!

**RebelRogue127: **You like Rogue's attitude? I'm a big fan of Evolution and I was trying not to make Rouge too Goth like. Anyway thanks for your review!

**Feline Fighter: **It's good you like it. I hope you like this new chapter.

**Albendon: **Thankyou very much for your review. I like when it people tell me what they really think. I never said **for certain** that Rogue was going to kill herself, however I can see how you got the wrong impression. Anyway I've tried to make this chapter a bit longer and I hope you continue reading.

**Spectra2: **I'm glad you thought that. And I'm sorry if I took long to update, I had many things to do. I'll try to upload at least once a week.

**DitaSweetSorrow: **Thanks! I did do some research. And thanks also for reviewing my poem :)

* * *

**Chapter 2**

TWO WEEKS LATER… 

_Five…_

_Four…_

_Three…_

_Two…_

_One…_

BRING!!!

The bell rang. Rogue leapt up and grabbed her bag, ready to bolt out the door.

"Rogue!"

She swore under her breath and turned around to face Scott, who was still standing by the whiteboard. Other students filed out the door; some giving her backward glances.

"Yes, Scott?"

She called all the X-Men by their first names since Liberty Island. To her it seemed that she was almost part of the team.

Almost.

"Could you come here for a moment?"

Rogue groaned involuntarily.

Kitty gave her a sympathetic look, "I'll like meet you outside."

Rouge nodded and silently headed to the front of the classroom.

Scott opened his mouth.

"If it's about mah latest test marks, Ah hardly think a B is anything to worry about," she interrupted him.

Scott sighed, "You got a C, Rogue."

"And?" Rogue gave him a puzzled look.

Scott looked slightly taken aback, "You used to be a straight A student."

"Ah still am," Rouge's temper was rising, "Just because Ah got one B and now one C doesn't mean Ah'm failing!"

Scott looked at her, or at least she presumed he was given his sunglasses "And next time it will be a D and eventually a F."

_God! Now Ah know why Logan gets so pissed off with him! Like I got one C! Oh great, now Ah'm sounding like Kitty!_

Rogue took a deep breath, "Listen, Scott Ah appreciate your concern and all, but it's only one C. Ah've not – Ah've not been feeling tah good lately, but Ah promise Ah'll try harder."

Scott pursued his lips, "Okay. But Rogue…"

"Ah've got to go," Rogue clipped.

Scott just looked her for a moment. His face was expressionless and Rogue had the annoying feeling that he was trying to read into her emotions. After a lengthy pause he spoke "You may go, Rogue. I'll see you tomorrow."

Rogue nodded and walked out as fast as she could out of the door. As soon as she was in the hall she began running.

And ran straight into Bobby Drake.

_Shit._

"Bobby!"

"Rouge," Bobby looked at her, "We need to talk."

"Uh…. Not now, Bobby. Ah'm busy."

"Doing what?" Bobby raised one eyebrow.

Rogue paused and quickly lied, "Ah'm hungry. Listen, Bobby, we'll talk about this later."

"That's what you said last time."

"Ah know!" snapped Rogue, "But you're not the only thing that Ah have on mah mind, ya know!"

Bobby looked at her sadly, "You've changed, Rogue."

He began walking away.

"Where the hell did you get that line from?" Rogue yelled down the hall, "A soap opera?"

She stopped short.

_What's wrong with me? Ah've become such a bitch!_

"Bobby!" she called, "_Bobby!"_

He ignored her and turned around the corner.

Rogue banged her head against the wall.

"Rogue? You okay?" Kitty appeared and quietly walked towards her, "I tried like calling you but you were like walking so fast."

Rogue opened her mouth and closed it, "So you heard?"

Kitty squirmed slightly, "Yeah, I did. But Rogue don't like worry, Bobby's a jerk."

"No he isn't!" Rogue almost yelled, "Ah'm the jerk! Ah am the one who ended the freaking relationship!"

"Ssshh," Kitty held a finger up to her lips, "But he should have like known it was a bad time."

_Ah'm lucky Kitty's my friend. Especially since Ah treat her like crap most of the time. Ah really should start treating her like a real friend would._

Rogue paused, "Yeah, Ah guess so."

"Come on," Kitty grabbed her gloved arm, "Let's go and eat something."

Rogue shook her head, "Ah'm not hungry, Kit-Kat and besides Ah have to finish off that essay for Storm."

"You should have done it last night," Kitty reprimanded softly, "You want me to like save you anything?"

"Nah."

"Okay, I'll see you in history."

Kitty waved and walked down the hall and Rogue walked the opposite way. She walked quietly towards the dormitories, noticing how serene everything was. She reached her room quickly and with a bit of a push opened the door.

She headed straight for her desk and started up Kitty's laptop. In truth she hadn't really started the essay, but she had planned it out. Besides, one of the good things about being a straight A student was the fact that one D wouldn't make a huge difference.

She clicked on her user name and typed in her password. While waiting for the laptop to load, she sorted through the many teen magazines that littered Kitty's side of the room. She found one that looked appealing and flicked through it.

In it were girls her own age.

Skinny.

Beautiful.

Wearing mini skirts.

Tank tops.

Halter necks.

_Ah knew there was a reason why Ah never read this crap._

Rogue stared in jealously. It was unfair. She would never be like them. Never wear clothes like them. Never have boyfriends she could actually kiss. Never look as nice. Never be as thin.

Never be as thin?

Rogue frowned, got out her seat and inspected herself in front of the mirror.

_Ah'm not fat. Though you can't really tell. _ __

She hesitated, pulled of her jumper and then her T-shirt. Standing in just her bra and pants, she stared intently at her reflection.

_Ah'm just imaging things. Ah haven't gained any weight… Ah haven't!_

Rouge glared at the magazines and pulled her top back on.

"Ah don't want tah see this ever again!"

She marched over, grabbed the magazine and flung it out the window. Judging by the heavy thud, she had thrown it pretty hard.

And it was then she realised that the magazine was the latest issue and Kitty hadn't read it yet.

_Maybe Ah shouldn't have done that…._

She shrugged and turned towards the laptop. The screensaver had come on. Rogue had always hated it; the pipes gave her a headache. Anyway she had a paper to write.

Rogue sat back down and moved the mouse, swearing as the clock came into view.

_Shit! Ah'm not going to have enough time to do it all!_

Despite herself she yawned. She had gotten up early to do her geometry homework and read more of her English book. She could have done it last night, but she was busy doing… well nothing really, but time had gone so fast.

_Ah'll ask Storm for an extension. Ah never do, so she'll probably give me one._

She switched off the laptop and closed the blinds. Yawning again, she lay down on her bed.

_Ah'm just resting my eyes till lunch is ovah._

She fell asleep in less than five minutes.

* * *

Rogue knocked on the classroom door. With any luck Storm would be in even though it was seven-thirty in the morning.

Rogue had woken up at six o'clock in a mild panic after realising she had slept for a solid seventeen hours. After waiting a reasonable amount of time she had rushed over fully intent on apologizing.

"Come in."

_Ah guess I do have some luck._

Storm was sitting gracefully at her desk, marking papers. She looked up and smiled

"What is it, child?"

_Ah wish she wouldn't call me that. It's bad enough with Logan calling me kid._

"Rogue?" Storm said gently.

Rogue bit her lip, "It's about yesterday."

"I noticed you were missing," Storm said.

Rogue bit her lip, "Yeah, um look Ah'm sorry for missing class yesterday. Ah – Ah lost track of time."

_At least that's the truth._

Storm raised an eyebrow, "Doing what, may I ask?"

_No you may not! Okay Rogue, cool it. . Pissing off Scott is one thing but messing with the wether witch is another…God! Ah'm starting tah think in third person!_

"Ah fell asleep," Rouge said truthfully, "But Ah promise Ah'll make up the work. Ah'll give you the essay tomorrow."

"Is something wrong?" Storm looked concerned.

_Yes. Everything. Bobby. Logan. My school work. The fact that Ah can't touch anyone without killing them. It's a good thing ya not a telepath._

"No." It came out almost robotically.

Storm look slightly troubled, "You better go and have something to eat before breakfast ends."

* * *

"God, Ah'm starving."

"I'm not surprised," Jubilee put her tray down and sat opposite Rogue and Kitty, "You slept through dinner last night."

"Yeah," Rouge picked up her knife and spread a thick layer of butter over her toast.

Kitty frowned at her plate, "Do you guys think I've like put on weight?"

Rogue snorted and Jubilee covered her mouth with her napkin.

"What?" Kitty sounded hurt.

"I'm sorry Kitty, but you're like a stick! You're anything but fat! I swear it's those damn teen magazines you insist on buying!"

Rogue felt a pang of guilt.

"Ah know. Trust us, Kit-Kat."

Kitty smiled and grabbed the butter spreading a minute amount on her toast, "You can never be like too careful."

Jubilee rolled her eyes but Rogue frowned.

_Mah toast is swimming in butter!_

"I thought you were like hungry," Kitty gave her a puzzled look.

"She thinks she's going to get fat now," Jubilee sighed, "Good one, Kitty."

"Ah am sitting here!" Rogue said indignantly.

Jubilee blinked, "Oh sorry."

Kitty laughed, "Like Rogue you can't get fat from eating that piece of toast."

"And if you do no one can tell," Jubilee added.

Rogue froze, "Excuse me?"

"That came out wrong," Jubilee apologized, "What I meant was that if you got fat from eating it wouldn't be that much so therefore it wouldn't show."

_Yeah right._

"Funny," Rogue said coldly, "I thought you remarking on my clothes."

Jubilee froze, "Rogue, I wasn't. Honest."

Kitty looked between her friends worriedly, "She wasn't Rogue, and even if she like was you do..."

Rogue slowly turned her head and faced Kitty, her eyes unblinking,

It was Kitty's turn to freeze, "… Eat… eat hardly anything!"

Rogue looked at her frostily, "Ah don't appreciate being lied tah."

She slammed her fork down and stalked out of the cafeteria.

* * *

Rogue lay on her bed, the blinds closed yet again. Nirvana played loudly over the speakers. Lately she had begun to listen to that type of music. Not the heavy kind, but just things like Linkin Park and the Red Hot Chilli Peppers.

She was angry at what Kitty and Jubilee had said, but on the other hand neither of them would do anything to intentionally hurt her. Perhaps it was the truth. Perhaps she was taking things a little too seriously.

Perhaps.

But then again, shouldn't they know how sensitive she was? How she hated it when anyone remarked on her clothes or her powers? They should have known and yet they still said that. They couldn't be screwed honey coating every word that came out their mouths.

But why should they? Just because of her? She wasn't anyone special, but she was their friend. They should have known.

Should they have?

After all who was to blame? Their insolence or her sensitvity ?

_Knock, knock._

Rogue snapped out of her trance, "Go away!"

"Rogue it's me. Kitty."

_God, Ah can't kick Kitty out! It's her room as well._

Rogue sighed and switched off the music, "Come in."

Kitty walked in and carefully closed the door behind her. She sat cross-legged on her own bed and faced Rogue.

"Look, Rogue, Jubilee is really sorry. And I am too. We really didn't mean to like offend you."

"Ah know," Rogue sighed, "Anyway Ah'm not mad at her. Or you. Friends are supposed to tell you things you don't want to hear," Rogue added, trying to hide her bitterness.

"Then…?" Kitty sounded confused and aplogetic at the same time.

Rogue shrugged, "It's sort of hard tah explain."

"Rogue," Kitty began quietly

"So why are you smiling?" Rouge changed the subject quickly.

_Ah don't wanna talk about this!_

Kitty blushed as if Rogue had picked up on something.

"You know it isn't like illegal to smile."

"Kitty…." Rogue was now curious.

"Okay! Okay!" Kitty grinned and folded her hands in her lap, "I have like the best news ever."

"Lance Alvers sat next you in English?" Rogue asked dryly.

"Yes… but that's not the news!" Kitty added somewhat dreamily.

"Kitty," Rogue said cooly, "Ah'm waiting."

"Well," Kitty paused dramatically, "Logan's back!"

Rogue started laughing. For the first time in what seemed a long time, she laughed.

Kitty stared at her, "What's so funny?"

Rogue hiccupped, "Ah thought you said Logan was back!"

Kitty looked as if she were worried about Rogue's sanity, "He is. I saw him my way to our room. From what I like heard he arrived last night."

Rogue stopped laughing suddenly.

Very suddenly.

"He's – he's back?"

Kitty nodded silently.

Rogue stared open mouthed.

_Ah guess today isn't that bad after all…_

**The most unoriginal cliffhanger ever! I wasn't really too happy with this chapter but the next one will hopefully be better. As you can see it's getting slightly more angst. **

**Please Review!**

**Crimson Lipstick**


	3. You're back!

**Title: **In the End

**Author: **Crimson Lipstick

**Rating: **PG -13

**Category: **Angst/Tragedy

**Disclaimer: **I DO NOT OWN X-MEN.

**Summary: **Chronicles Rogue's life from the beginning of her downward spiral to her tragic death…

* * *

**FelineFire82:** Thanks. I didn't really like the last chapter so it's good someone liked it.

**enchantedlight:** Yeah, Logan's back! Thanks for reviewing :-)

**Spectra2:** Sorry for taking two weeks to update. But it was as fast I could.

* * *

**Chapter 3**

"Rogue?" asked Kitty, peering into her face, "Are you like okay?"

Rogue blinked, "Oh yeah. Ah'm-Ah'm… Ah don't know how Ah feel Kitty. Ah- just have- have tah see him!"

She jumped off the bed. Kitty somehow understood her and nodded.

"Rogue!" she called as Rogue reached for the door handle.

Rogue turned, "Yeah?"

Kitty hesitated, "Be careful."

Rogue just looked at her, "Why should I?"

She closed the door and began walking quickly, folding her arms as if she were cold even though the air conditioning had yet to be fixed.

She tried to forget everything that had happened today and instead focused on Logan.

He was back! She had every reason to be happy.

So why wasn't she?

_Ah am happy. Well at least Ah'm trying tah be…._

She drew in her breath as she rounded the corner. She could sense him as he could sense her. And…. And there he was. Closing the door to the Professor's office. His back was towards him. But she knew he knew she was there.

_God! Now Ah'm thinking tongue twisters!_

"Logan?" she whispered softly.

"Kid," he answered smiling.

Smiling.

When was the last time the Wolverine smiled?

That itself gave her more courage

"Logan!" she repeated as she rushed forward and hugged him, "You're back!"

"Well it seems so," He pulled back slightly, "What's wrong?"

Rogue pushed aside a strand of hair, "What do you mean?"

"Something seems wrong," Logan looked at her, "I can sense these things, kid."

"Ah'm not a kid," Rogue said.

"No," Logan said, almost sadly, "You're not."

_He isn't supposed tah say that! It's like our little joke!_

The awkward silence was broken by high-heels tapping on the ground.

"Logan?"

"Jean."

The dark red haired beauty stood before them. Rogue pursed her lips slightly, even though she had never ever really had a problem with Jean. When Jean had 'died' Rogue was inconsolable and when Jean 'resurfaced' Rogue had been one if the happiest people in the mansion- after Scott. But now to her, Jean seemed to be the enemy.

_What is it with me and red-haired people?_

"Will you be staying for long?" Jean was asking.

Logan shrugged, "Maybe. How are you and Scooter?"

_Trust Logan tah never be one for tact._

But there was something else….the way he and Jean were talking, it- it was almost as if they were acting in a play. Like it was rehearsed.

It took Rogue a moment to realize the reason for this was the fact that Logan and Jean's relationship had become strained. They had become so uncomfortable with each other they couldn't have a regular conversation. The tension between them was that high. Rogue sincerely hoped her and Logan's friendship hadn't become like this.

"Uh," Jean looked away. "We got engaged last month."

"Oh," Logan's face was expressionless, "Congratulations."

Rogue snorted.

Both Jean and Logan turned to face her.

_You always have to laugh at the wrong moment, don't you Rogue?_

It was hard to not laugh actually. It was becoming more and more as if she were watching a low budget movie.

Rogue avoided their looks and became avidly interested in the ceiling. Soon Logan and Jean began talking again and slowly (though very) they eased back into regular conversation. Rogue wondered wildly, why Jean didn't dump Scott for Logan. She would in any case.

Soon it became apparent that they had sort of forgotten she was standing there. Rogue had a feeling she was in the way and that maybe she was the reason for their discomfort.

She slowly began to edge to the door. Logan however noticed and looked straight at her

"Hey," he said.

"Yeah?" Rogue hoped she sounded normal.

"I'll see you around," He smiled and Rogue could have sworn he winked, "Kid."

She blushed and turned towards the door.

Everything was looking up.

* * *

TWO WEEKS LATER…

_He roared as he realized his confinement. He pounded his fists against the glass tank; the green water jumped and fell towards the ground._

_He clenched his fists together in desperation and struck harder than ever._

_SNICKT! _

_Three aluminum claws emerged from each hand. Blood splattered, staining the water an unhealthy crimson._

_He yelped in surprise and pain. He moved his hands back forth; examining them in horror. In the distance a cruel high laugh could be heard. He yelled in agony again and slammed the claws into the glass._

_CRASH!_

_The glass and contents of the tank went flying. An animal howl of fury was heard as he leapt out. Someone began yelling; orders it seemed._

_Armed guards appeared. They surrounded him. They held up their guns but seemed hesitant to fire._

_He didn't care. _

_The hatred, loathing and desperation coming from him could be sensed a mile away. He was intent on one thing. The reason he was designed for._

_To kill._

_Blood splattered, screams, yells, agonizing pleas._

_They began firing. But they could do hardly any harm. After all it was the reason why he was chosen._

_It was almost like a massacre, horrifying to watch. Body parts were sliced off. Blood leaked from fatal scratches. Guts poured out of deep cuts._

_They put up a good fight but were no match for a man with revenge as his motive. His claws were sharp; they sliced anything in a way. They were almost like new toys and he was almost like a kid using them for the first time. His methods were brutal and thorough. He had nothing to live for except to kill everyone in the room._

_He was unstoppable._

_And they were at his mercy._

_It wasnt long until the pleas became faint. It wasn't long before the screams stopped . Soon the bodies stopped twitching. Soon nobody was attacking him._

_He stopped. He looked at the blood staining his claws and hands._

_There he was. The only person alive in a horrifying flood of dead bodies._

_The one responsible._

_And then the person who had laughed was there. _

_In the shadows. Standing, watching. They looked pleased. ._

_He sensed him immeaditly._

_His anger increasing he leapt forward, claws out ready for the kill.... but the person had vanished. _

_A sharp pain was felt in his side. He dropped to his knees, suddenly feeling faint._

_Everything began to grow dizzy, hazy. Things were turning black_

_He tried to get up, but everything was going out of focus._

_Two words were heard before everything became nothing._

_"Weapon X."._

Rogue bolted awake. Cold sweat clung to her body, tears wrecked her face. She realized her hands were shaking.

Kitty stirred and Rogue held her breath.

These dreams had become more frequent ever since Logan's return. Logan himself had kept with his promise; he was still at the mansion. Their relationship however,as she had feared ,was strained. Something had changed. Rogue would have liked to blame Jean, but had a sinking feeling in her stomach that she herself was to blame.

She wanted things to be how they used to be. She wanted them to be friends again. But between him flirting with the beautiful Phoenix (they at least had gotten over their discomfort with each other) and her moodiness, the chances of this seemed low. The link between them seemed to be broken.

In fact it had almost reached a point, where she wanted Logan to leave. Not because she didn't like him, but because everything had become so uncomfortable. She hated venturing out of her room, in case she bumped into him. She hated going to Jean's classes, because it seemed he always was loitering there. She hated people talking about Logan with her, in case she let something slip. She hated even thinking about him, as she didn't want to know what her real thoughts about him were.

In short his mere presence was dictating her life. She knew that sooner or later they would have to talk.

She just wasn't ready yet.

* * *

"How many cups of coffee are you planning to drink, Rogue?" Jubilee raised one eyebrow.

It was the next morning and Rogue was having breakfast with Kitty and Jubilee.

Rogue blushed, "Ah guess Ah'm just tired."

"I like told you to do your homework, before that like Angel marathon," Kitty nodded sagely.

It amazed Rogue sometimes just how oblivious Kitty could be.

"Aren't you going to eat something?" Jubilee asked, "Or have you stopped eating breakfast all together?"

"When was the last time Ah ate breakfast?" Rogue answered cryptically

"Someone's in a bad mood," Jubilee noted, reciting one of her favourite phrases.

"Lack of sleep," Rogue placed her mug back down on the table, "Ah gotta go. Ah have to ask Jean for an extension before class starts."

_Ah don't really have much of a choice. Though Ah hope she gives it tah me, Ah haven't been handing my work in lately._

"Wait!" Kitty called after her, "I thought you like did you homework like last night!"

"Now you get it," Rogue muttered as she left the cafeteria and headed out.

"Rogue!"

Her heart plummeted to her stomach as she recognized who was speaking.

_Bobby. _

"We need to talk. And don't say this isn't the time."

"Well, it's not. Ah have tah go and see Jean."

"Well, I don't care!" Bobby said, "We need to talk."

"About what?" challenged Rogue, "We broke up!"

"No," Bobby said calmly, "You broke up with me without giving me reason. All I want, Rogue, is closure and then you can go and kill yourself for all I care."

_He must be pretty fucked off. Bobby never speaks like that._

"Okay, you want closure then Ah'll give you closure," Rogue took a deep breath, "Bobby, Ah broke up with you because Ah didn't like you in that way anymore! It happens! Get over it! It's been just ovah tah months!" She glared at him.

"I don't think that's the reason," Bobby said coolly, "I think there's another. And I think you don't have the guts to tell me."

Rogue made a noise of disbelief and moved to walk away, when Bobby grabbed her arm.

"Bobby! Let go!" Rogue twisted her hand out of his grip, "Just leave me alone!"

"You know, Rogue," Bobby said, "I might have said this before, but you've changed."

"Yeah well," Rogue shot back, "You've changed as well!"

"Maybe," Bobby answered, "But if I have, it's because of you."

He turned and walked away.

_Great. Now Bobby hates me._

She sighed and continued her walk, concentrating so hard that she walked straight into Logan.

_What is it with meh and meeting people in hallways?_

"Kid," Logan steadied her, "What's wrong?"

"Haven't you asked me that before?"

Logan raised an eyebrow.

Rogue sighed, "Look, it's nothing. So don't worry."

"I can't help it, kid."

"Well, try." Rogue was surprised by her own shortness.

There was an awkward silence between them.

"It's the nightmares, isn't it?" Logan said suddenly.

Rogue gave him a strange look before answering.

"What if it is?"

Logan sighed, "I knew I shouldn't have come back. I'm screwing up things for everyone."

"Like Jean and Scott?" Rogue was on a roll, "Haven't see her wearing her ring tah often since ya've come back."

To her surprise Logan didn't say anything. Instead he looked almost hurt.

_Ah guess he likes me after all._

"Everything's my fault, isn't it, kid?"

"No. Logan, Ah'm….Ah'm sorry."

"Are you really?"

"What do you think?"

"I don't think you are."

_This conversation is getting stupid. _

"Well, Ah wouldn't be having all these nightmares if you hadn't come back to start with!" Rogue snapped.

Logan opened his mouth.

"And Jean and Scott would still be happy!" She cut him off, "Every time you come back here, something goes wrong. Literally. Sometimes Ah... Sometimes Ah wish you would leave and never come back! That at least would be better than you coming back at the most inappropriate times and fucking up things for everyone!"

Rogue took a sharp breath and stared in horror at what she had just said.

Logan regarded her quietly, "Well if that's how you feel…."

"Don't leave!" Rogue said quickly, "Logan…"

He simply looked at her again, with an expression border-lining on pity.

" I wasn't going to say I was leaving. Yer not the only reason I came back, Marie."

He walked away, without so much as a backward glance.

Rogue blinked frantically and buried her head in her hands.

* * *

ONE WEEK LATER….

Rogue was walking past the main lounge, when she heard a distinctive thud followed by two short crashes. Someone was yelling and the television was blaring.

She frowned, slowly retraced her steps to the lounge and stood in aghast.

Jamie Madrox was jumping up and down on the largest sofa in the room as if it were a trampoline. When he saw her he leapt off and began running around the room screaming, not caring if he knocked over other chairs. He grabbed the remote and began flicking channels, all while skipping on top of the coffee table.

"Uh, Jamie?" Rogue said hesitantly.

"I'm here," someone said miserably.

She turned around to see the real Jamie Madrox standing in the doorway to her right.

"Is this the 'Ah've had tah much chocolate' Jamie?" Rogue commented dryly.

"I prefer exuberant," Jamie frowned as his multiple switched on MTV and began singing along.

"…._YOU'RE TOXIC…I'M SLIPPING UNDER…"_

Jamie lowered his head into his hands, "Why Britney Spears? Why?"

Rogue hid a smile as she watched the multiple begin dancing, 'He'll be gone soon."

"…._I'M ADDICTED TO YOU… DON'T YOU KNOW THAT YOU'RE TOXIC…"_

"I know," Jamie sighed.

Rogue looked at him, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

Rogue raised an eyebrow.

_God, Ah'm doing what Logan does!_

"It's just-" Jamie hesitated.

"Just what?"

_"…GIVE ME A SIGN…. HIT ME BABY ONE MORE TIME…"_

_ Is this a Britney marathon or what? _

"Why me?" Jamie blurted out suddenly, "Why am I the one with this- this crap power! Why me?"

Rogue froze. How many times had she thought that?

"That was slightly unexpected," she said.

Jamie didn't say anything.

"Your powers aren't crap," she went on, "They're cool."

"I guess. But sometimes I wish I had someone else's, you know? Like, Mr Summers."

"Scott will only be able tah see shades of red for the rest of his life," Rogue reminded him.

"Mr Logan?"

"Don't get me started."

_CRASH!_

A half filled glass fell, showering the ground with coke and glass

Rogue dodged out the way of a speeding remote.

_THUD!_

It hit the back wall.

His multiple laughed manically before jumping onto another chair.

"Bobby?" Jamie continued as though nothing had happened.

"If it doesn't get to ya heart, sugah, you'll be lucky."

"What?"

"…_MY LONELINESS IS KILLING ME… I MUST CONFESS I STILL BELIEVE…"_

"SHUT UP!" Jamie roared with a surprisingly loud voice for a thirteen year old.

Rogue opened her mouth and closed it, "Listen, Jamie, Ah like you powers. You do know how cool it is to multiply yourself, right?"

"You know you sound like you're trying to convince yourself," Jamie looked mournfully at where his multiple was pigging out on Doritos and littering the carpet "Guess who's going to have to clean up this mess? Not him. No, by then, he'll be long gone. I'll have to clean up. It isn't even my fault! Do I have to be punished because I can't control my own power?"

_"OOPS! ...YOU THINK THAT I'M SENT FROM ABOVE... I'M NOT THAT INNOCENT!"_

"At least there's a chance you'll be able to control your power," Rogue said wistfully.

"Who says you can't?"

"Me."

Jamie looked up at her, "It's what this is all about?"

"Sorry?"

"You."

Rogue blinked, "Sorry, Jamie, I don't-"

But Jamie had already started speaking.

"The reason you can't convince me is the fact that you can't convince yourself. You can't convince yourself that you do have 'cool powers' and that in fact you are lucky. That there is a way around your powers. You want to be sad and depressed. You want people to notice you. You want people to make you feel better and comfort you. Yet when they even try to, you push them away and punish them. You got to make up your mind, soon, Rogue. We're all suffering just because of you. You just think you're the only one but...."

"Jamie!" interrupted Rogue harshly.

Jamie fell silent and purposely didn't meet her eyes.

Months ago Rogue would have been surprised at how someone as young as Jamie could come up with something like that. But now….

_Ah don't need a thirteen year old lecturing me!_

"_…OOPS!… I DID IT AGAIN TO YOUR HEART_! …_GOT LOST IN THIS GAME, OH BABY!"_

Rogues straightened stiffly, "Ah'm not taking anymore of this."

Jamie nodded sadly, "Figured."

He looked over to where he double was waiting for the next song to come on. Seizing his chance he leapt over to the television, in hopes of switching it off.

His double however was smarter than this. He interrupted Jamie's path and launched himself on top of him. In seconds they were wrestling to Me Against the Music.

Rogue walked out quietly. She met Scott as he was walking past.

"What's going on?" he asked, indicating his head towards the lounge.

"Jamie's trying to kill himself," Rogue answered truthfully.

Scott gave her an incomprehensible look.

"Yeah," said Rogue, "Maybe Ah'm not the one ya'll should be worried about."

She walked away.

_Maybe._

**I'm so sorry for taking so long to update. I've been really busy but my holidays are coming up soon, so I should be able to get the next chapter up soon. And don't forget to review!! I didn't get many for the last chapter…**

**Crimson Lipstick**


	4. Just leave me alone!

**Title:** In the End 

**Author**: Crimson Lipstick

**Rating:** PG –13

**Category:** Angst/Tragedy

**Disclaimer:** I DO NOT OWN X-MEN.

**Summary:** Chronicles Rogue's life from the beginning of her downward spiral to her tragic death…

* * *

**TheDreamerLady:** Thanks for both of your reviews!! They really inspired me to write better. And you love it? Awwww :-) **Thelonious: **My characters are well developed? Cool. I hope you like this new chapter. **Fizzleup: **You've really made me think. I meant to explain everything in the third chapter, but I must have forgotten. Anyway I've tried to answer all your questions in this chapter. Read on to see. **Me: **Hope I didn't take too long updating. **Naemis: **I'm definitely going to continue this. Good you like it. **Maeris:**You noticed how I used Britney's Toxic! This is the new chapter – I personally think this is where the real story starts. **FelineFire82: **Thankyou for all of your reviews. And no this story is not going to waste. **Tara: **Great you're interested. **Anastasia:** First of all I really like your name. Second, it's so great that all of you like this story! **Lily:** I hope it gets even more interesting.** Kaffeine: **Somehow your review didn't end up in my inbox. And thanks for the compliment – I tried hard to incorporate both personalities.**The Awakener Viari:** I updated as soon as I had the time

**And lastly thanks again for everyone who reviewed. I didn't expect to get so many!! I honestly thought hardly anyone was reading this and now I have definite reason to continue. Please review this chapter, once you've finished reading it! As I said before they are appreciated and now I know people truly are reading this. So don't forget to review!**

* * *

**_IMPORTANT STORY NOTE:_**

I reread this story and I realised that I had started the timeline in July. Which would make it now August. And that wouldn't make sense, because why were they in school in July?

So I went back and changed it to June, so now the story at this present moment is set in mid to late July. Hopefully that's not too confusing…

**

* * *

**

**Chapter 4 **

ONE WEEK LATER…

Everything was going from bad to worse.

Rogue felt more alone than ever. Logan, Bobby and Jamie weren't talking to her. Jean seemed to have forgotten she had existed- and Scott too come to think of it. Scott and Storm seemed too worried about her to be of any useful help. She hadn't seen much of the Professor lately, but twice she had felt his presence in her mind. Both times her response had been anything but polite.

Kitty was the only person Rogue had left to talk to, but Lance had finally gotten his act together and asked her out, so she was becoming scarcer by the day. It was school holidays so Jubilee was visiting her family.

Rogue was mad, depressed and annoyed with everything. She didn't know what from and she thought this was as good as any time to try to figure what was causing her to act like this. She thought it was mainly from the fact that she couldn't touch, from the fact that she had managed to piss off her friends and also from the fact her mind had started playing tricks on her – illusions on the scales.

The nausea hit her again and she blanched.

She closed her eyes and leant over the toilet once again. These past few days she had been feeling awfully sick. She hadn't mentioned this to anyone. They would probably just panic, or overreact and say that she should eat more. Which of course was a total lie because Rogue felt as if she were the average weight, or even a little bit more, of someone her height. In any case, she decided to just wait this out. There were a million other reasons that could be causing this; including her lack of sleep.

The word 'sleep' caused her to yawn. She removed her head from over the toilet and sighed, wishing that she had the energy she once possessed.

She wasn't having the nightmares every night, but they were still common enough and had become worse. The nightmares would wake her up instantaneously in the middle of the night and there she would lie there for the rest of the night, unable to get back to sleep for fear of having another nightmare.

_Ah gotta get out more._  
  
She retched suddenly and leant forward.

Past experiences had given her initiative to tie her hair back, whenever she felt these urges.

Nothing came out, so she leant back and rested her hands on her thighs. She took a deep breath and stood up. Pulling her hair out of her ponytail, she brushed it in the main mirror, Frowning she found a bit sticking out and quickly picked up the handheld mirror, to get a closer view.

SLAM! 

Rogue dropped the mirror in shock.

_SMASH!_

Shards of glass littered the floor. Rogue swore.

_Good thing Ah don't believe in that seven-year shit._

"Rogue! Sorry for like slamming the door. You okay? I heard something like break."

Rogue looked mournfully at the glass lying on the floor.

"Yeah, I'll be fine."

"Okay. Bye!"

Kitty went out again, thankfully closing the door softly.

She bent down to pick up the bigger pieces before dragging over the vacuum, when she paused. The piece she was about to pick up was not only large but also sharp.

Could it…?  
  
Rogue shook her head. Her life was already screwed up. She didn't need this as well.

But… but could this solve her problems? Could this help her?

She'd heard…

Gingerly she picked it up and lightly touched her fingertips to the edge.

_It is sharp. Ah better put it back._

But she didn't. Instead she held it up and examined it in the light, as if not quite sure if it were real. All four sides were jagged, though one was even more so.

_Why not?_

She pulled off her left glove and held the piece in her right, hovering it over her wrist.

Curiosity overwhelmed her. She moved the glass right, in a swift motion.

"Ah!"

She held her breath.

The pain was immense. Bu the stinging pain was the worse. It wouldn't stop, it throbbed. Rogue bit her lip to stop any sound escaping from her mouth,

Rogue had a feeling that she was lucky not to have cut a deeper cut as the pain would have been unbearable, or so she though.

The blood itself poured out in a steady run. It wouldn't stop and soaked through the tissues that Rogue had used to apply pressure. The blood landed in the sink, with a tiny slash. Rogue quickly turned on the tap, hoping to wash it away.

It still stung, though the pain had subsided and Rogue knew then that she had made a terrible mistake. It hadn't relived the pain at whole. The heavy feeling in her heart was still there.

_Unfortunately._

She vowed never to do anything so stupid again.

And maybe she should have written that promise down.

* * *

THREE DAYS LATER….

Rogue walked out of her maths class, laden with books. Even though it was the summer holidays, Scott had been running a tuition program, for anyone who felt they could improve their skills. Rogue had joined; there wasn't anything else to do, especially when she couldn't go swimming. Besides since of late, she hadn't really been in the mood for socializing. There was way too much on her mind.

"Rogue!" Logan appeared in front of her.

"What? Are you stalking me?" Rogue stepped sideways and kept on walking.

He grabbed her hand and she was forcefully reminded of Bobby.

"Ow!" Rogue pulled away as his fingers touched the scars through her gloves.

"Kid, I didn't grab yer that hard," Logan frowned.

He grabbed her upper arm and led her gently into an empty classroom.

"You didn't," Rogue paused and closed the door, before sitting on a desk "Ah just over reacted. So what do you want?"

"I don't know," Logan shrugged, "To talk."

Rogue closed her eyes briefly, "Logan, Ah'm sorry. Ah didn't mean tah say that – Ah was upset. Ah-"

"Kid?" Logan sat next to her.

"Yeah?"

"Don't apologize. It's my fault. I shouldn't have come back and dumped this all on yer. I-"

"Logan?" whispered Rogue.

"Yeah?" Logan touched her hand lightly.

"Don't apologize."

Logan grinned, but a shadow hung in his eyes.

_Ah know what he's thinking._

"Nothing is wrong with me," Rogue said firmly.

"Rogue," Logan sighed, proving she was right, "Marie. It's just that you've changed and - and there's something about you, that doesn't seem right. I'm not insulting you or anything, kid, but…"

"It's been six months since you were last here. People do change in that amount of time, you know."

"I know. And I'm sorry," Logan paused, his eyes lost in thought as if making a decision. He spoke suddenly, "But I promise you kid that I'm not going to go anywhere for awhile, this time at least. You know I'm beginning to kind of like it around here…" Logan pulled out a cigar.

Rogue looked at him.

"What?" Logan looked down at the cigar, "They can't kill me."

But she just smiled brightly and hugged him.

"Thanks."

_That's just what Ah wanted to hear. Maybe things can begin tah go back tah normal…._

Logan frowned, confused but responded the hug nonetheless.

"What's going on?"

Scott walked into the classroom, his visor fixed on Logan and Rogue.

"I hardly think we're breaking the law," Logan said.

_If Ah were a couple of years younger then we would be, sugah_

"I don't trust what your version of the laws is," Scott replied.

Rogue's temper slowly began to rise.

_First he interrupts and now they're arguing!_

"What do you want, Scooter?" Logan said crisply. He was evidently annoyed. 

"Nothing. What do you want?"

_And Ah thought Scott couldn't say anything stupider. Can't he just leave, if he has nothing useful tah say?_

"Nothing."

"Then why did you come back?" The manner in which Scott said that question sounded as if it were a question that had been on his mind for a long time.

Her anger increased.

_Couldn't this have waited?_

"What the hell do you think, Summers? Why do you think I came back?" Logan said sarcastically, turning away from Rogue and facing his opponent

"My fiancée perhaps?" Scott said coolly, "Perhaps you'd like to leave, Logan."

Her temper reached boiling point.

_It's always about, Jean isn't it?_

Logan smiled, "Have it your way, Cyke."

_And now he's going tah make Logan LEAVE??_

Her temper snapped violently.

_"Do you two ever SHUT THE HELL UP??"_

Rogue had no idea she could shout so loud.

Logan and Scott stopped.

And stared.

It was a moment before either of them could say anything.

"Rogue…"

"Kid?"

"_Just leave me alone!"_

* * *

Rogue flew into her room and slammed the door shut.

She knew what she had to do.

Luckily for her Kitty wasn't in the bathroom or even the bedroom.

She walked quickly to the bathroom door and immediately locked it.

She had hidden it under a loose tile, near the shower.

The shard of glass.

This time she didn't even hesitate. She pulled off the glove and threw it the corner, before slicing her right wrist.

Rogue was sick of everything. And most of all sick of the way she couldn't speak to someone without snapping. She didn't want to push people away, but she couldn't help it.

She held her breath again, but this time it was almost in a hidden ecstasy.

Because this time it felt different. The pain was still there, but in doing so Rogue felt as if she had resolved some of her own personal pain. It was like she could cure the emotional pain she felt, by being distracted from it.

Everything between her and Logan had been going fine until Scott had to come and screw everything up. Now Logan probably wouldn't be speaking to her again. And why did Logan and Scott have to argue all the time?

_Oh yes. Jean Grey._

Rogue pulled off her other glove and picked up the glass again. This time she turned her wrist over, so the blade was facing her veins.

Her skin split open

She ignored the pain.

She was sick of being the way she was. Sick of hating herself. Sick of snapping at everyone.   
  
She wanted to go back to way she was before, but with everyday it seemed harder and harder.

She looked at the blood, angry and reckless. With a surge of anger she stuck out her tongue.

And then she licked the blood clean off both wrists, swallowing with satisfaction.

And then she stopped.

And stared in horror.

She slumped down on the floor with her back to the door. She lost track of time as she sat there in a numb trance. She was faintly aware of Kitty walking into the bedroom and of her announcing her presence

_What the hell have Ah just done?_

She brought her knees to her chest and sat there motionless, suddenly horrified. The beautiful blue bathroom seemed tainted as the red contrasted with it.

She didn't move and instead waited for more time to pass. She was too tired in strength and mind to get up. In short she couldn't be stuffed.

_Knock, knock._

Someone tugged at the door handle only to discover the door was locked.

Her heart stopped.

"Rogue! Can I like come in?" Kitty asked.

Rogue froze, doubling over in panic.

_What the hell am Ah going tah do?_

"Rogue?" Kitty sighed.

Rogue thought fast.

"Ah'm not changed – Ah'm going tah have my shower."

"You've been in for like so long and yet you haven't even like started your shower?"

"Yeah."

Silence.

"Oookay," Kitty sounded doubtful, "I'll go to Rahne's and Jubes' bathroom."

"Bye."

Rogue waited for the door to close before letting out her breath. She tilted her head back onto the door and thanked god silently.

The blood kept on dripping, but at a slower pace.

At last Rogue had found a true friend.

The sharp edge.

Her Saviour.

* * *

THAT AFTERNOON....

"Rogue?" Kitty said softly as she walked back into the bedroom to grab her bag. She was wearing her towel and bikini top, "I'm going to like go now. You sure you don't want to like come?"

Rogue looked up at her friend, from where she was sitting on the bed. While she may have changed mentally in the last month or so Kitty had changed physically. She had taken Jubilee's advice and dyed her hair dark brown and then she had cut it stylishly just above her shoulders. Her attitude had however stayed the same; carefree and happy, though lately she had been tiptoeing around Rogue, as if she were a glass vase balancing on the edge of a cliff.

Rogue had a feeling Scott or Storm had spoken a few words to her.

"Sure," Rogue smiled thinly, "Go swimming. Summer's going tah end really soon, use it tah your advantage."

Kitty stood still, "Maybe I shouldn't…."

"Kit-Kat, go!"

"Rogue…"

Rogue raised one eyebrow, "Lance will be waiting."

Kitty gave her one last painful look before leaving.

In reality, Rogue didn't mind. Even when she didn't have her powers, she wasn't very keen on swimming.

_When Ah didn't have mah powers._

Rogue stopped and rested her head on the wall behind her bed. She thought back to the days when everything had been so good and innocent. The times when she could wear whatever clothes she wanted, when she could touch. When she was _free_.

Those were the days.

Sure she hadn't met the X-Men but when was the last time she had felt another person's touch? Two, three years?

How she would love to go back in time and savour those moments. To relive them. To appreciate how lucky she used to be.

She sighed and closed her eyes briefly, lost in a dream that had once been a reality.

Then suddenly she was snapped out of that beautiful dream, by a thing called reality.

Rogue shook her head, trying to clear her head and turned on her stereo, putting in her new Evanescence CD. Kitty had said that she was crazy to get it, but Rogue had liked the songs that she had heard on the radio.

She lay down on her bed, pulled out a book and hit the shuffle button on the stereo. Immediately a song began playing.

_"You don't remember me but I remember you  
I lie awake and try so hard not to think of you  
But who can decide what they dream?  
And dream I do  
  
I believe in you  
I'll give up everything just to find you  
I have to be with you to live to breathe  
You're taking over me…  
  
Have you forgotten all I know  
and all we had?  
You saw me mourning my love for you  
and touched my hand  
I knew you loved me then…  
  
I believe in you  
I'll give up everything just to find you  
I have to be with you to live to breathe  
You're taking over me…  
  
I look in the mirror and see your face  
If I look deep enough  
So many things inside  
__That are just like you are taking over…  
  
I believe in you  
I'll give up everything just to find you  
I have to be with you to live to breathe  
You're taking over me-"_

Rogue switched it off quickly.

"Who the hell listens tah this depressing shit?"

_It's reminding me of – No! Ah'm not thinking about him! And especially not her._

Suddenly she began crying. Her tears stained her face and she took deep gasps of breath, confused beyond all measures. She held out her hands and was horrified to see they were shaking.

_What the hell is wrong with meh?_

Everything was so unfair. It didn't make sense, it wasn't right. Life had given her a curse, one that everyone thought was fixable, one that everyone thought didn't matter. She thought back numbly to the incident at the mall. Had that girl, Aimee or whatever her name was, known how much she went through everyday, she would have shut up. Maybe she would perhaps even express pity. And yeah, maybe Jamie was right, maybe on the surface she did want everyone to pity her – but in truth, she wanted people to realize just how lucky they were.

But everyone took it the wrong way. They thought something was wrong with her. They wanted to help her when she knew she didn't need it.

And then there was this whole deal with Logan. She was unclear on her feelings for him. Every time they got closer, something happened, something wrecked it. All she wanted was for things to be how they were.

Everything was so screwed up.

Life's a bitch and then you die.

How many times had she heard that saying?

But then that saying wasn't necessarily true. Life gave you so many opportunities.

It's just how you use them 

She didn't want to feel like this. It was as if slowly her whole world was beginning to crash. Slowly, but she could notice.

But what really annoyed her, was the fact that one day she could feel so happy and then the next day she could feel so sad. And then slowly it seemed as if the bad days were outnumbering the good days.

Rogue touched a hand to the tears that had been caused by a song.

By a song.

Was she that fragile?

Was there seriously something wrong with her?

_Is everyone right in asking me if Ah'm okay?_

But then everything wasn't as bad as it seemed.

Maybe she was just overreacting; after all she hadn't had a good night's sleep in awhile.

And after all tomorrow was another day.

_If it ever comes. _

**I hope you all liked this chapter. It's a lot more angst than the others and I hope I'm not going too fast. Anyway PLEASE REVIEW! If you've read this chapter please review. I really like them. **

**Review! **

**Crimson Lipstick**


	5. I don't make mistakes twice

**Title:** In the End

**Author**: Crimson Lipstick

**Rating:** PG –13

**Category:** Angst/Tragedy

**Disclaimer:** I DO NOT OWN X-MEN.

**Summary:** Chronicles Rogue's life from the beginning of her downward spiral to her tragic death…

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**Enchantedlight: **Thanks for reviewing again! And I'm sorry for taking so long to update. **TheDreamerLady: **You added me to your favourites J! It's good you don't think I'm going to fast. **The Awaker Viari: **I tried hard to capture the feelings of a cutter, so thanks. **DitaSweetSorrow: **Thank you so much for your review and pointers. When I have the time, I'll go back and change a bit of chapter 4 and see if I can make it a bit more realistic. Also thanks for editing this chapter for me :) **Jupiterhime:** So sorry for taking so long to update. Thanks for reviewing,**Lily: **I'm sorry that you don't want Rogue to die, but it's the reason that this story is under the category Angst/Tragedy. If it makes you feel any better though, I'm having second thoughts about the ending. I hope you like this new chapter.**Sparklingrain: **Yeah! He's back! Keep on reading! **Lal: **Amazing? Thanks and I'll try to get the next chapter up faster.

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**Chapter 5**

THAT NIGHT…

Silence occupied the kitchen. They sat still lost in their own thoughts. She stifled a yawn and looked over to where the clock was. It was nearly one and yet they were still in silence. She rapped her manicured nails on the coffee cup and tried to meet his gaze but to no avail. He wasn't paying attention to her; his mind was on other things.

They had been sitting like that for half an hour. She wondered how much longer they would sit there in silence and whether it would be acceptable for her to get up and refill her cup. Finally she could not take the uncomfortableness no longer and decided it was up to her to speak.

"Are you okay, Logan?" She looked opposite the table that they were sitting at.

Logan looked up as if just realising she was there, "Yeah, I'm fine."

"I think you need acting lessons," Jean smiled, "Logan, tell _me_."

"Aren't you a telepath?" Logan stood up and paced the room, "I'm sure you can find an answer."

"I don't make it a habit of reading other people's minds," Jean was slightly confused.

"Well if you had maybe, you would know what's wrong with her."

"Rogue," Jean nodded her head as she understood the cause of his strange behaviour, "You're worried about Rogue."

"You think?" he said sarcastically

"Hey, listen!" Jean glared, "I'm not the monster everyone makes me out to be!"

"I know, Jeannie, but…." Logan sighed and stopped pacing near the wall, "I'm just so fucking worried about her. You know that she yelled at Scooter and me today? I've never seen her like that. "

Jean nodded slowly, "I know, Scott told me."

Logan snorted, "What does he know? In fact what the fuck do I know? All I know is that there's something wrong! Jean, it's like I'm watching her slip away from me, and there's not a damn thing I can do about it!"

He hit the wall with his right fist suddenly, making Jean flinch.

She quietly stood up and rested a hand on his shoulder, "We're all worried about her too, Logan."

"Are you?" He leant forward on the wall, both hands clutching at it, as if he would like nothing more than to rip it off.

"Yes, Logan! I am worried! But I know she has to come to us, not us to her, for us to help her! She has to realise that there is something wrong with her!"

"And what if she doesn't?"

"She will, Logan. She will."

"I smelt blood," he said suddenly.

"What?"

"I smelt blood, coming from her room. Then when I saw her a couple of days later, I grabbed her wrist and she yelped in pain. I'm not stupid, Red, she's a danger to herself."

"Logan…."

"You know," he went on, "I promised her I would protect her from anything, anyone. I just never realised that one day I would have to protect her from herself."

Jean was silent. Yes, she had noticed a change in Rogue but she had been too busy to bother much about it. A knot of guilt grew in her stomach and she wished she could go back in time to rectify her mistakes, but the fact was that she hadn't done anything. However not wanting Logan to know about her lack of involvement, she quickly recited something Storm had said to her, which she, Jean, had stupidly dismissed.

"Her marks are getting worse. And I don't think she's eating right."

"Jeannie…" Logan began.

He stopped short, frowned and sniffed the air.

Jean glanced at him uncertainly.

"Wait here," he growled and walked out of the room.

Jean raised an eyebrow.

* * *

Rogue was walking to the kitchen, quietly as to not alert anyone of her presence when she heard someone coming towards her.

"Logan!" Rogue said as he came into her sight.

_Ah don't want tah talk to him!_

"What the hell do you think you're doing, kid?" Logan demanded.

"Ah was on mah way tah the kitchen," Rogue looked confused,

"Don't lie. What did you hear?"

"Nothing. Why were you talking about me?" Her eyes narrowed.

"What do you think?" Logan said sarcastically.

She opened her mouth and closed it, looking remarkably like a goldfish.

Logan didn't have to be a genius to figure out that the look on her face was genuine.

"Shit," He swore, " Oh shit."

_Ah trusted him!_

"So tell me, Logan what were you talking about?"

"Rogue-"

"No, you listen! Ah don't appreciate being talked about behind mah back!" She pointed a finger at him.

"Kid-"

"Ah have feelings, you know! If you want tah to talk, do it in front of mah face!" She continued angrily.

"Marie-

"Don't you dare call me that! Ah trusted you!" She gave him a disgusted look.

"We're just worried about you," Logan finally managed to cut in, looking somewhat wounded from her last remark.

"Why?"

"Because of this!" With a sudden fury Logan tore off her left glove.

His face whitened at the scars and his hand reached out for hers. She knew what he was trying to do and immediately took a step backwards.

"Marie…."

"No!" Rogue took another step backwards, "Just don't!"

He reached forward but seizing her chance she snatched the glove off him.

"I can heal you!"

"Ah know you can! But Ah don't want to be healed!"

Logan's face was expressionless, "Kid…"

"What?"

He sighed, "Let me heal you."

She held up a hand threateningly, "You do that Logan and Ah will absorb you fully. If you're lucky you'll _only_ end up in a coma like David."

Logan had no idea who David was, but sensing the sincerity in her voice paused, "Rogue, this- this isn't like you."

She sighed, "Logan, Ah'm not in the mood to talk, okay?"

He studied her for a moment and then his eyes travelled her to her wrists.

She covered them up, " A stupid mistake, Logan. And Ah don't make mistakes twice."

_Well technically Ah did…_

He grabbed her elbow, just as he realised someone else's presence in the room.

"What the hell is going on?" Scott Summers appeared in front of them, arms crossed.

Logan sighed and released Rogue, "Great timing, Scooter. Do you want to explain this one, kid?"

But Rogue had already left.

* * *

TWO DAYS LATER…

She woke up in a sweat, her breath rugged. She bit her lip and blinked hard, to prevent the tears from falling. She couldn't and they fell silently down her cheeks and then onto her pillow. She hastily tried to wipe them away.

Taking a deep breath, she unstuck herself from her sheets and looked over at the time.

_2.30 AM_

Her stomach growled but she ignored it. She recalled the crap that she had last eaten and while it was more than ten hours ago, eating anything more would not at all help her figure, which thankfully had improved. Now she just had to maintain it.

_Maybe Ah should just eat healthier food than skipping meals…._

She slowly got up and grabbed her dressing gown. With a backwards glance at Kitty, she opened the balcony door and quickly exited the room.

She sat on the balcony rail and idly wondered what would happen if she jumped off. Nothing, really, she wasn't that far up.

But for a while she just sat there, lost in her own world. One which she had created. Where everything was wonderful, beautiful and peaceful. Here she could forget.

And finally she felt tranquil.

Unbeknownst to her, someone was watching.

* * *

For the past few days Rogue had mainly kept to herself. She stayed in her room all day and only came out at night to eat in the kitchen, and that was only if she felt like it. Kitty was the only person she talked to but Rogue hadn't really been in the mood to talk for awhile now. Besides lately Kitty had been acting even more strangely. So far Rogue had refrained from asking or figuring out why.

It was the late afternoon and Rogue was sitting on her bed, scribbling in her notebook, and listening to her walkman. Her eyes looked out the window; it was a clear summer's day and thankfully not too hot. Some mutant kids were outside, laughing, lazing around and playing games of all sorts. They looked so happy and carefree, Rogue thought with a sudden pang of jealously.

Kitty was in the bathroom preparing for a date with Lance. Rogue was glad; of course she liked Kitty, but the one bad thing about the mansion was the lack of privacy.

Her pen was poised over a new leaf of paper when her train of thought was interrupted.

"Rogue, what like happened to my mirror?" Kitty shouted from the bathroom.

Rogue switched off the music and removed her earphones.

_Took her long enough._

"Oh," she blushed, "Ah broke it. Ah'm sorry. Look Ah'll buy you a new one."

"Well you should have like told me!" Kitty walked out the bathroom and glared at Rogue.

_This is really unlike Kitty. Ah mean it's just a mirror._

"Kitty?" Rogue asked quietly, "Is there something wrong?"

"No –yes, no well it's like _you._"

Rogue blinked, "Me?"

"Well they've been like talking…"

_Who are they?_

But she didn't ask that question; there was a more important one to ask.

"What have they been saying?"

Kitty sat down on her bed and bit her lip, "That-that-"

"Kitty?" Rogue spoke with compassion, but her eyes were filled with anything but.

"They say you're cutting yourself."

Her eyes flitted to Rogue's journal, with a glint of curiosity.

"Oh," Rogue stuffed the journal under her sheets, "Have they now?"

She tried her best to sound as if she didn't care, but failed miserably.

"Rogue, I love you and everything but, _why_?" Kitty said.

"Why?" demanded Rogue, fuelled by a sudden anger that was no longer just due to lack of sleep, "You believe them, without even asking me for mah clarification?"

"Weeks ago, I wouldn't have. But now, Rogue, it's almost like I have no idea who you are anymore. Like you're a different person."

"So you think Ah've changed too?"

"Ah know you have," Kitty was silent for a moment, "Rogue, if this is all because you can't touch…"

"You wouldn't understand," Rogue hissed, "How it's like not tah touch. How tah not feel someone else's touch. The raw feeling of flesh. Yeah, call me stupid or whatever. But how would you feel if you couldn't touch! Haven't Ah told you about David? A sharp edge is all that can touch me now! And how would you like it tah not have a boyfriend because you can't touch. How would you feel without your _precious _Lance?"

"You had a boyfriend!" Kitty said, "And it like didn't work out. That's not my fault!"

"Ah know it wasn't, Kitty! It was mine, and that's my problem! A separate problem, Ah might add. Besides Logan…"

"You like _Logan?_" Kitty stared at her.

"No!" Rogue sounded shocked, "Ah don't like him – not in that way at least!"'

Kitty paused, "Okay…."

"Ah don't!" Rogue jumped up, her hands in the air.

"I believe you. God, Rogue, relax."

Rogue took a deep breath and sat back down, "Ah'm sorry but-"

"Sometimes sorry isn't like enough. Rogue, look, something is like wrong with you and you just won't admit it!"

"Nothing is wrong with me!"

"Yes there is!" Kitty nearly screamed.

"God, Kitty, relax," Rogue mimicked.__

Kitty quietened down slightly, "Rogue…."

"No," Rogue made to get of the bed.

_How hard is it tah find some privacy in this place?_

Kitty looked at her. Her once carefree face now looked troubled.

"What?" Rogue asked rudely as their eyes met.

"Promise me, you like won't do anything stupid," Kitty said softly.

"Sorry," Rogue stood up, "Ah only make promises Ah know Ah can keep."

Kitty was silent until Rogue opened the door, "Where you going?"

"For a walk," Rogue said, "By myself."

* * *

Rogue sat on the bench and looked over the mansion's vast grounds. The trees behind her sheltered her from the sun's glaze. The area was isolated and she basked in the serenity of it. From here she could see her balcony and it amazed her to think that just last night she had been on it.

This particular place held a lot of memories for her. After all it was where Mystique disguised as Bobby had told her to leave the school. She idly remembered to back then.

Life was a whole lot different now.

She sighed and closed her eyes.

However as usual her peace was disturbed. She clicked her tongue in irritation as the intruder spoke.

"Rogue?"

"No," Rogue didn't even look up, "Go away."

"We need to talk."

"That's what everyone says tah me. You need tah think of something better."

"Okay," the person paused, "You need to talk."

Rogue didn't respond and Jean took it as an invitation to sit down next to her. Rogue purposely turned away from her.

"You're being really immature, Rogue," Jean said quietly.

"Ya know, Ah can just walk away," Rogue's eyes remained closed.

"Then why don't you?"

Rogue opened one eye slowly and looked steadily at Jean, "Because Ah was here first and if anyone should be going, it should be you."

Jean smiled, "Funny. But I'm not going."

"Until Ah tell you that there's something wrong with meh?"

"You know it, Rogue. Why won't you admit it to the rest of us?"

"Because Ah don't lie."

"But you just did."

Rogue glared at her, "Ah don't need this philosophy shit."

"Then tell me what's wrong."

"You know what's wrong? Everyone thinking there's something wrong with me!"

"Who?"

"Logan, Kitty, Jubilee, Jamie, Scott, Storm, _You_. The list goes on and on. And that's not mentioning the Professor and his so called vision."

"Dream," corrected Jean.

"When was the last time a dream of yours came true?"

Jean eyes focused on the ground.

"It will next spring – when I get married," she said finally.

"So you're still getting married?" Rogue looked over, in amazement.

"Why wouldn't I?" Jean said calmly.

"Logan."

Jean laughed but seeing how out of place it was, stopped, "We're friends, Rogue. That's all."

"You sure about that?"

"Yes, Rogue. I am."

Silence reigned. Jean looked Rogue over. She did look about the same, but there was a sort of haunted look to her face, hilighted by the bags under her face. She had lost a bit of weight, Jean decided, and on the whole she would look better if she would smile more often.

She finished her examination of Rogue, and being uncomfortable with the silence, spoke.

"We care about you. All of us would be devastated if something happened to you. We want to help you – but you have to let us. Before I thought it was just you wanting attention, but now I have a feeling it's something more."

"Say Ah needed help," Rogue looked at her squarely, "How could you help meh?"

Jean opened her mouth-

"Save it, Grey. Look, if Ah I need your help Ah'll come for it, okay?"

Jean nodded slowly, "Agreed. But Rogue-"

Rogue stood up, "Ah just need some time. Ah'll see you when school starts, Dr Grey. "

Jean watched her walk away, arms folded, eyes downcast.

"But do you have enough time?"

* * *

Rogue stopped walking and turned her head as she heard Jean's last comment

_That's up tah me tah decide._

* * *

**Yeah, I know it was short but it had to be. I screwed up my plan for this story, so I just need to figure some stuff out. Also sorry for taking so long to update. ****Don't forget to review!**

**Crimson Lipstick**


	6. I hate you

**Title:** In the End

**Author:** Crimson Lipstick

**Rating:** PG –13

**Category:** Angst/Tragedy

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing except nothing. Even though that's contradictory.

**Summary:** Chronicles Rogue's life from the beginning of her downward spiral to her tragic death…

**Author's Note:** So, so, **so** sorry for taking so long to update. I've been really busy, this site wouldn't work for me and I was suffering from writer's block. Anyway I hope you all like this new chapter. And oh yeah, I know I have a feeling I have Rogue's last name wrong, but I couldn't remember it or if her last name has ever been mentioned before. So if anybody knows……….

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**Jupiterhime:** Thanks, I really like it when people tell me they like my work. And I normally update faster than this.

**The Awakener Viari:** It's good I'm getting readers, who can relate to this type of thing. Thanks.

**Imagica:** That's really sad. What many people who commit suicide don't really understand is that they _do_ leave quite a few people who love them behind. I hope this may be able to help you understand.

**Enchantedlight:** Cool. Sorry for taking so long!!

**Lily:** No, Jean really isn't the best person for Rogue to turn to. But you don't know thatRogue actually _wants_ Jean's help. Anyway, thanks for reviewing.

**TheDreamerLady:** Not a big fan of Jean, lol? Okay, I really hope you like this new chapter. As I said before, I appreciate your reviews.

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**Chapter 6 **

ONE WEEK LATER….

The holidays were coming to a close and people began to return to the school. Naturally it was not long before the rumours began to float around. This was Mutant High, after all, and things always had an unexpected way of getting out. Secrets didn't last very long there.

In this case, it was said that Rogue, Marie D'Ancanto, was cutting herself. Many didn't believe it; to them it seemed impossible. But then again, Rogue had been acting strange lately, hadn't she? Yeah, and she hadn't been seen in the cafeteria for ages. Or around the school, come to think of it. Maybe she and Logan had a fight? Or maybe the Professor threatened to kick her out!

The vivid imagination of many students flourished with no real hard evidence or facts. In fact it was almost like the teachers themselves weren't doing anything to quash the stories.  
Opinions were divided but everyone agreed that Rogue had changed. That, they knew for sure.

Rogue mainly kept to herself, ignoring the whispers that followed her around the school. Since Kitty had gone to visit her parents after their holiday in Florida, the task of being alone was made all the easier. Things were kind of strained between them anyway, and Rogue welcomed the silence and space between them..

She had stopped cutting herself; fearing the upheaval it would cause. However she was sinking into a deep depression.

They were all worried about her and yet Rogue felt as if she had no one to turn to.

As for her and Logan…

She didn't know where they stood now. She knew he cared about her, but how deeply was the real question. And then there was Jean. Yes, the wedding was still on, but Rogue had a feeling that wouldn't change much. Jean had been trying to reach out to her, and Rogue had a sneaking suspicion that it was mainly due to guilt of lack of involvement in this whole matter.

The Professor, Scott and Storm in the meantime had left her alone. Perhaps they had finally gotten the message or perhaps they were silently watching her every move. Rogue sincerely hoped for the former. There wasn't much one could hide from a telepath.  
  
But in any case, everything was fine that week. In fact she could almost say that she was beginning to feel better. Beginning, being the keyword. Because … it simply wasn't a case of not being able to touch anyone. Rogue dimly imagined herself in ten years, even twenty years from now. Would she ever learn to touch? Her future seemed bleak. It was a case of waking up in the morning and not wanting to get up. A case of being jealous and envious of everyone else. Why her? Why?

Why not anyone else? Why not him? Her? Anyone.

And there was the added bonus, of everyone claiming that she wasn't eating enough. Which she was. She knew she wasn't fat but she was feeling it. It was kind of hard to explain, but she did know she was in a healthy weight range. Anyway that week, she really had been trying to make an effort to eat more often, even if it was when everybody was asleep or in the pool.

But then one day that week was over and _that _was… was when…

When everything really started fucking up.

* * *

It all started when Rogue got a headache. 

She was lying in bed at night, awake, staring at the ceiling. The pain started of mildly, but soon it was throbbing, verging on the state of a migraine. It reached a stage where she could take it no longer, so she got off the bed, intent on getting some aspirin from the medical storeroom. Jean wouldn't mind, and even if she did, Rogue didn't give a shit.

It was around one when she dared to stick her head out the door. The hallway was empty.

_Perfect._

She cautiously exited the room, and tiptoed out. With any luck Jean wouldn't be in the bay.

The medical bay itself was dark and desolate. She felt her way around the room, slightly frightened by the dark shadows on the wall.

She entered the medical storeroom, and flicked on the switch. She held her breath but soon it became apparent that nobody else had seen, and she confidently walked in. And technically she wasn't really doing anything wrong. ..

Rogue swiftly searched around and came upon a bottle of paracetamol on the third shelf.

_Found it._

She grinned and tucked it in her jacket pocket. She would return it in the morning, after all she didn't know how much she'd need. Rogue turned off the switch and exited the storeroom and then the bay.

Congratulating herself in the corridor, she didn't hear the footsteps approaching her.

"Rogue!"

She stopped dead.

_Why do Ah meet everyone in the halls?_

"What are you doing?" Scott folded his arms. Rogue thought fast.

"Hungry," she lied, "Ah need food."

"Oh," Scott said, "Especially when you're heading the opposite way to the kitchen."

"Well um," Rogue floundered, "Ah- Ah was hungry and Ah went to the kitchen tah eat. Now Ah'm heading back tah mah room."

She nodded her head sagely.

Scott didn't say anything. He just seemed to stare straight ahead. She vaguely wondered what colour his eyes were.

That was his curse. Rogue tried to imagine what it would be like to only see in shades of red . He probably would be used to it. But what he and Rogue had in common, was the fact that before their mutations manifested they had lived relatively normal lives, with basically no handicaps. In one magical stage of his life he could see all the pretty colours of the rainbow and in one gorgeous stage of hers, she could touch. Without fear of killing anyone, that is.

_Still, Ah'd rather see only red the rest of my life than tah never be able tah touch._

"What?" Rogue said, when Scott seemed to be lost in another world.

"I saw you on your balcony," Scott said, "From that bench by the edge of the grounds."

"Oh." There wasn't really much she could say to that.

"I haven't seen you around lately."

"Really? Well Ah've been busy."

"You know if there's anyone you need to talk to. I'm here."

Rogue smiled softly at that. Scott truly was a good person to talk to. Before this whole mess had begun, they used to talk, especially when Logan wasn't around. But now, it was if there was some kind of mental block between them. It was exactly like the one between her and Kitty, or the one between her and Logan. Come to think of it there was a mental block between her and the whole world.

"Ah do know. So what about you and Jean, huh? She seems pretty optimistic, especially about the wedding." Rogue cut straight to the point. Her headache was really killing her.

"I know but, I-I just can't get rid of that feeling that-" Scott paused as if realising he had said too much, "So, Rogue, how are you doing?"

Rogue noticed the sudden change of topic.

"Ah think Ah'm heading on the right track."

"Yeah," Scott paused, "I'm going to go to bed now. Hopefully Jean's finished her work in the bay."

_Jean's in the bay? But Ah was just in there and she wasn't....._

"Okay," Rogue smiled slowly, "Goodnight."

"Night."

She watched him walk away. Her stomach grumbled.

_Guess Ah really am hungry. _

She walked slowly towards the kitchen door, which was unusually open.

And then she froze, her mouth, her eyes wide open. The kitchen was in her direct view.

Jean was in there and so was _he_. They were standing, by the fridge, talking softly. It must have been something interesting or Logan would have immediately sensed her. Or at least Rogue hoped so. Perhaps he did know she was there and didn't care.

But that was when things began to go all wrong.  
  
Jean said something and Logan wrapped his arms around her. He whispered something and Jean laughed. She lifted her head...

_What the..._

Jean brought her mouth closer to his and... and they kissed. His hands ran through her hair, hers settling around his neck...

_Oh mah GOD_

If was as if Rogue couldn't move. She watched, horrified and yet transfixed, by the sight of Jean against the wall and Logan... Rogue shook her head trying to clear her thoughts. Tears welled in her eyes. Her palms were sweaty. Her mind was going a hundred miles per minute.

"Ah hate you."

And then she ran.

As fast as she could, away from that wretched room.

* * *

Rogue slammed the door behind her, her mind replaying the scene over and over again. Her hands shaking she hit the play button on her stereo, in an effort to block out the memories. Music began playing, but her theory failed.

_...His hands wrapped around her..._

She roughly opened the bottle and threw the cap aside. The pain in her head started flaring up again.

_…He didn't even notice her…_

It wasn't like she was jealous or anything, because she wasn't... but he should have known better. He should have known what a fragile state she was in. But now Rogue knew the truth.

He didn't care. Jean didn't care. No one did. Sure, they might have, but at the first signs that she was getting better, they abandoned her. They got on with their happy little, fortunate lives, and left her to pick up the pieces of her own miserable one.

She roughly ran a hand through her hair, her headache turning into a migraine. She glanced down at the bottle quickly, before quickly popping two pills.

A song was playing on the radio.

_"Something is cold and blank behind her smile  
She's standing on an overpass  
In her miracle mile_

She moved her hand upwards to the off knob on the stereo, but in the process of leaning over, tripped over her chair leg . She hit the ground hard as she sprawled across it. Swearing, Rogue lightly touched the edge of her lip, and withdrew it to see crimson.

"Great," Rogue banged her hand against the floor.

_"You were from a perfect world  
A world that threw me away today  
Today to run away_

She sat up slowly and rubbed her head. Everything was so screwed up. Including her headache. She took two more pills, in an effort to speed up the effect.

_"A pill to make you numb  
A pill to make you dumb  
A pill to make you anybody else  
But all the drugs in this world  
Won't save her from herself_

The headache wasn't getting any better and it was a lethal mix with her feelings at the time.

"How long does it take for this fucking piece of shit to work?" she yelled. Her anger was rising. She was mad at everyone, everything. More pills passed through her mouth. She didn't care. Anything to get rid of the pain.

_"Her mouth was an empty cut  
And she was waiting to fall  
Just bleeding like a Polaroid that  
Lost all her dolls_

_"You were from a perfect world  
A world that threw me away today  
Today to run away_

She crawled over to the door, and rested with her back to the door. A small sob escaped from her mouth. How could he do this? He knew!!

She shook more pills onto her hand. Her mind was blank, void of any useful thoughts. She lost track of how many she was swallowing. All she knew was that Logan was a jerk.

_"A pill to make you numb  
A pill to make you dumb  
A pill to make you anybody else  
But all the drugs in this world  
Won't save her from herself-"_

Ten? Twenty pills? What did it matter?

She stopped suddenly and jerked upright.

_What the fuck am Ah doing?_

"Dammit!" she yelled. She threw the bottle across the room. It hit the wall and broke, its contents showering the ground.

Her eyes narrowed. She stood up and switched off the stereo. She paused before knocking it over onto the floor.

This was all HIS fault. He was going to die for this....

She rubbed her hair in desperation, and kicked the edge of the stereo. Now everybody was going to find out and they were all going to blame her, and offer help, just like last time.

Just like the last time she had done something stupid.

She yelled, and swept a hand across her desk. Books, papers, pens, pencils, all fell to the ground. She bent down and kicked them into all directions.

_Ah'm just getting started._

She yanked down the curtains and punched the walls. She walked back wards admiring her work and in the process stubbed her toe on a pair of scissors on the ground.

A thought struck her.

On that impulse, she opened her closest and took out every long sleeved article of clothing she could find.

Then she cut them all into shreds.

Those clothes were the cause for half her god damn problems!

She was crazy, struck by a sudden fit of rage. She was mad and deadly. Mad at Logan and mad at herself.

And then reality kicked it.

_Shit._

Rogue sank to her knees. Tears poured down her cheeks. She wanted to scream and bang her hands on the floor. She wanted to yell and tear out her hair. She wanted to holler and smash the windows.

But something inside told her not to. That kind of noise could attract people to the room....

With this thought in mind, she took a deep breath and looked around her room. The scene was pretty miserable.

Kitty's stereo lay on the ground broken, pills littered the room, glass was scattered on the floor, books were all over the ground. Half her clothes were cut up and the pieces were floating around the room just like feathers.

She had literally trashed the room.

What had she done?

What should she do?

_Relax, Marie, Relax._

Her first thoughts were to go to the Medical Bay, but to say what?

And maybe she didn't take that many pills....

She glared at the room, as if to blame it for everything.

When the room didn't do anything, she switched off the light and threw herself on her unmade bed.

And gradually sleep took its course.

Gradually.

* * *

_Knock, knock _

Rogue groaned and stretched. She turned her head towards the clock. The bright red letters clearly read 11.30AM.

Her stomach made an odd noise and yesterday's events came back to her with a jolt.

_See? At least Ah'm still alive._

She blanched suddenly, and quickly held a hand to her mouth.

_Oh god…_

_Knock, knock_

"Who's there?" She sat up.

"Bobby."

"What do you want?" she snapped.

"To come in."

"Uh, this isn't really the time."

"Okay."

He opened the door and walked into the room.

"Bobby!" screeched Rogue, "What if Ah had been changing?"

He seemingly shrugged, "But you weren't."

"Still…" Rogue took a deep breath and settled herself.

"What do you want?"

"To clear up some rumours."

"What rumours?" Rogue snapped irritably. She wasn't in half a bad mood as she was in a last night, but she was feeling kind of strange.

_Ah'd wish he'd just leave._

Bobby laughed softly, "You'd be surprised at what some people are saying."

Rogue forced a smile onto her lips, "Like what?"

"That you cut yourself," Bobby immediately looked down at the ground, and then looked up and gave the cut on her lip a second glance.

"Really? Are they saying that?" Rogue said sarcastically.

"So-" Bobby fidgeted.

"Are the rumours true?" Rogue said bluntly.

"Yeah," Bobby said sheepishly, "I mean this is Mutant High. You can never tell..."

"What do you think?" Rogue cut him off again.

"Wh-"

"Ah'm good, thanks for asking," Rogue smiled brightly and cut him off.

Bobby gave her a strange look and regarded her coolly for a moment before looking around the room, "Uh, what happened?"

_How long did it take you tah notice?_

"Well um," Rogue got out of bed, "Uh, I knocked down the stereo and Ah broke it."

"What about the pills? And your clothes? And everything else...?" Bobby looked at her, his expression shocked.

"What pills?" Rogue looked around and blinked, "Oh shit. Well, Ah-Ah had a headache and Ah dropped the bottle. Ah've gotta tell Jean. As for mah clothes... they- they were out of fashion, Ah had no choice. And leprechauns did the rest of the damage tah mah room. Okay, well that's it. Nice for you tah drop in. Goodbye!"

She pushed Bobby towards the door.

"Rogue?"

"What?" she hissed.

"You o-" He caught the look on her face, "I mean, can I do anything for you?"

"Yeah," Rogue answered, "If you see Logan, tell him Ah hate him."

"Logan, but..." Bobby was cut off as she closed the door on him.

Then she gazed around the room. She lightly picked up a piece of glass that was strewn on the ground.

"How the hell am Ah going to explain this one?"

* * *

Rogue didn't dare to leave her room, even though she was beginning to feel awfully strange and disorientated. She couldn't bear to see Logan, Jean, or even Scott for that matter.

She was sitting on her balcony rail, an activity for her that had become more common since of recent times. It was late in the evening and she was writing in her journal. She looked over at the sunset and then paused, as the Logan inside her warned of someone else's presence.

"Who's there?" she asked sharply.

"Me."

She recognized the voice immediately, "Ah didn't know you were back, Jamie."

"Well," he smiled weakly and stepped through the door separating the room from the balcony, "I am."

"What do you want?" Rogue traced a fingers on her scars. They were beginning to itch her, but she knew better than to pick the scabs.

"I'm sorry."

"What?" Rogue blinked, "Jamie, what did you do?"

"What- what I said to you. You know before the holidays."

"What about what you said to me before the holidays?" Rogue frowned; she wasn't really thinking straight.

Jamie sighed. He clearly thought she was purposely making this hard for him.

"You know what I said. I'm just really sorry and well, that's it."

"Why be sorry?" Rogue turned around and faced him, "It was the truth."

"You okay?" Jamie asked, surprised by her answer.

Her eyes flashed once again and he visibly flinched.

_Ah hate that question!_

"No offense," he continued hurriedly, "But you seem different today and your room is...."

"Trashed?" Rogue smiled slowly, and then immediately grabbed her head as a strange feeling vibrated it.

"Yeah..." Jamie flushed.

"Don't worry," Rogue shrugged, "Ah'm just glad you liked mah work."

She laughed then, a rich deep haunting one that sounded so unnatural.

"You seen Logan?" she stopped laughing.

Jamie shook his head silently. Rogue took it as a sign to go on.

"He's probably pining after Jean," she said airily, "Flirting with her. Planning ways to cancel the wedding. She feels guilt, so she comes along and pretends that she's here to help me. However she knows how Ah feel, and genuinely cares, even in guilt, and that however is at least better than someone who knows and doesn't care."

_It feels good tah actually tell people Ah how feel, even if they don't understand._

"I really don't understand what you're going on about," Jamie frowned.

"Ah wouldn't expect you tah," Rogue said. Another vibration came over her and she took a steady breath.

He nodded. Being one of the younger students at the mansion meant that was an answer he heard often.

"Jamie," she then said placidly, "What was the real reason why you were feeling so sorry for me?"

Jamie fidgeted slightly. Rogue took a leaf out of Logan's book, and raised one eyebrow.

"I thought that the reason you were cutting yourself was because of what I said to you," Jamie said softly.

"You have no idea."

Rogue looked down at the grounds, temporarily lost in thought.

"Rogue?" Jamie asked her suddenly.

"What? Oh yeah, Ah'm fine," Rogue rubbed her head. The dizziness was slowly overtaking her.

_Ah really shouldn't have taken those pills…_

"I didn't ask..."

Rogue suddenly knew she had to get Jamie out of the way.

"Hey, Jamie? You wanna do something for me?"

He nodded.

"Then get out of mah sight."

Jamie opened his mouth.

"Please?" Rogue added.

Jamie looked shocked, but then nodded, as though coming to a conclusion, and walked out without any fuss.

Rogue waited until she heard the door click before she stood up shakily. Everything was slowly becoming hazy. She walked into the room, swaying slightly.

_What's happening?_

She grabbed the edge of the bed and lowered herself onto her knees. Her grip slipped and she fell towards the floor.

"ROGUE!" Someone pounded heavily on the door, "Marie! Open up!"

And _that _was when everything went black.

* * *

**Another cliffhanger! Don't forget to Review!!!  
Crimson Lipstick**

Song is Coma White by Marilyn Manson


	7. It was an accident

**Title:** In the End

**Author:** Crimson Lipstick

**Rating:** PG –13

**Category:** Angst/Tragedy

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing except nothing. Even though that's contradictory.**Summary:** Chronicles Rogue's life from the beginning of her downward spiral to her tragic death…

* * *

**Enchantedlight:** Thanks. And now I'm feeling really guilty for taking so long to update! **TheAwakenerViari:** Yeah, I've been told that a lot, lol. Don't forget to review this new chapter!**Fizzleup:** I'm sorry, you feel that way. I really don't like stories like that too, but I don't mind writing them, :-) But, hey remember this is just fanfiction. **TheDreamerLady:** Sorry for making you wait again! I read your review during school and it really helped make computing a whole lot bearable. Hope you like this new chapter! **Jupiterhime:** Depressing and brilliant? Two words I hoped my story would attract. As for more soon, I am so sorry for taking a whole month. Really. **Melarien:** Here's the new chapter! Hope you haven't forgotten about it, lol 

**Thanks for all your reviews, everyone! I'm real sorry for taking so long. **

**And don't forget to review!**

* * *

**Chapter 7**

_..."Rogue! Rogue! Rogue, wake up!"_

_Rogue moaned and turned over, pulling the sheets firmly over her head. It seemed to her that she had just fallen asleep an hour ago._

_"Rogue, come on! If you don't wake up now you'll be late for like the third time this week!"..._

It was _far _too early to be getting up.

_...Knock, knock _

_Rogue groaned and stretched. She turned her head towards the clock. The bright red letters clearly read 11.30AM._

_Her stomach made an odd noise and yesterday's events came back to her with a jolt._

_See? At least Ah'm still alive._

_She blanched suddenly, and quickly held a hand to her mouth..._

Much too early.

She at least deserved another ten minutes. With that thought in mind, she rolled over to her side. Perhaps Bobby would get tired of knocking and go away....

Bobby?

Wait a minute... wasn't Kitty the one trying to wake her up?

"Rogue?"

No, it was Bobby. Yes, he was wanting to be apologize... but hadn't he already? Oh yes that was before...

"Rogue?"

"Is she awake?"

"I don't know. She rolled over, but..."

Before what? Now she was remembering. She talked to Bobby before talking to Scott. And that was before she was talked to Logan...

Logan. Oh no. Oh no. God no.

"Rogue!"

There was that voice again. Sharper. More urgent. Oddly familiar. Perhaps she should find out who was speaking...

Yes, that was a good idea.

Slowly she flitted her eyes open.

Immediately the bright lights hit her. She winced.

The medical bay was white and add that to the bright lights…well it was hell.

Pure hell.

"Rogue?" Someone asked her again anxiously.

She took a deep breath to settle herself.

Rogue then looked up and to her right.

Storm was sitting on a chair next to the immaculate bed. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Jean hurrying over towards her.

Both were peering at her.

Rogue then realised her sheets were twisted, her hair was matted and she was breathing awfully fast.

_Funny... Ah don't remember having a nightmare..._

"How are you, child?" Storm said softly, her accent for the moment seeming almost British.

"What happened?" Jean's voice, though gentle in tone, had a certain edge to it.

"Oh," Rogue blushed, "It must have been one of those nightmares – Ah haven't had them for a while, though."

Storm exchanged looks with Jean, "Before that we mean."

"Oh," Rogue shifted uncomfortably, her head feeling strange, "Ah'm tired – can we answer these questions later?"

Jean paused and then nodded her head slowly, "Okay. But Log-"

"No!" Rogue said suddenly, "Ah'm tired. How- how long have Ah been like this?"

Jean gave her a quick searching look. Rogue wondered if she was trying to read her mind.

But before Jean could say anything the Professor had suddenly wheeled in. His face looked grave, "Rogue."

"Professor," she answered.

He opened his mouth.

"It was an accident," Rogue said firmly, cutting him off, "Ah just want y'all tah know that. Now can Ah please have some rest?"

* * *

After failing to convince Rogue to have something to eat, Jean seemed to grow into an irritable mood. Normally Rogue would feel bad, but to put it polietly...

_Ah know your dirty little secret, Doctor. And you deserve tah rot in hell._

Hopefully Jean hadn't chosen that exact moment to read her mind.

In any case, just mere hours after she had woken up, Scott Summers came to visit her. His monotone face was for once showing emotions. Sorrow was etched on his face, an expression that looked as if it were in no hurry to leave.

As soon as he had entered the room, Jean left, vaguely mentioning the Professor and some important message. Scott gave her a puzzled look, but did kiss her goodbye.

Rogue felt her stomach tighten.

"Logan-" Scott began as he seated himself.

"Ah know," Rogue said the first thing that came to her mind.

_Ah don't wanna talk about that bastard…_

"You do?" Scott sounded surprised.

"Yeah uh, Jean told me," Rogue didn't like lying to Scott, especially when she had no idea what he was talking about.

"Just after we talked," he said, "This happened I mean."

She nodded slowly, wondering when Scott had lost the ability to make comprehending sentences. It seemed he was in too much shock, because all of a sudden he had the subtly level of the mighty Wolverine.

"Why?" There it was out.

_He doesn't know…_ _About Jean and Logan... How could THEY??_

Pity washed over her. She did actually like Scott.

Though now she had a perfect excuse to hate "Miss Jean 'Yes that's my real color'."

"Rogue…."

"Just tell me why."

Rogue looked away.

"You can tell me," Scott urged.

"No. No I can't. Sorry," she winced.

Scott frowned, "Is it because of your powers?"

"Kinda," she said softly, melting into Marie.

Scott sighed, "Rogue…"

"It was an accident," she whispered, half to herself, "Ah lost control…"

"You could have died."

"Jean said it's very hard to die of a paracetamol overdose," Rogue said.

"I know, that. We're just all worried about you, we don't want to lose you."

Rogue opened her mouth to tell him they would never lose her, but the words simply wouldn't come out of it. Feeling slightly foolish she closed it.

"Dr Grey has a time limit," She said after the silence got too much for her.

"I'll go."

"No, no." Rogue realised her mistake.

Scott looked over.

"Can you stay?" she pressed, "We don't have to talk. Ah – Ah just don't want tah be left alone."

"Okay," He paused, "I'll stay."

* * *

FOUR HOURS LATER…..

"_What the fuck are you doing here_?"

Logan stared.

She glared at him. He had rushed over as soon as he heard she was awake. He who had been the most annoyed that no one woke _him_ up. It was he, who Jamie had alerted. He who had broke open the door and seen the trashed room. He who had found her. He, who had stayed by her bedside the whole time, save when Storm forced him to get some rest. He who had returned only to see the man he hated talking to her. He who had courteously waited for Scott to leave.

He had a thought a thankyou would be the least he could expect.

That was just one of his many mistakes.

Rogue had been curled up, reading, when he had walked in. Scott had just left and Storm, on Rogue's request, had brought some things from her room.

She had just begun a new chapter, and was immersed in the book. At that moment she was in another world. It was just as depressing as this one, but in this world she wasn't the main character.

However Logan chose that exact same moment to walk in.

Her reaction was painstakingly honest to her true feelings.

_This is all his fault !_

"Too see how you were," Logan said steadily, answering her question, after a moment or two of confusion.

"Well, maybe you should have checked before!"

"What?"

"You and Jean! Ah saw you tah! Don't deny it!"

Logan broke her eye contact and leant against the wall

"Kid..."

"You know Ah feel!"

"I do?"

Rogue clapped a hand to her mouth, "Shit."

_Great choice of words, Marie, great choices._

Logan caught on immediately and it was quite clear he was debating in his mind what to say.

"Kid," Logan finally said softly, "You're a _kid_."

Rogue bowed her head, "Ah know."

"I don't feel about you in that way," Logan sighed, "I didn't think…"

"Ah don't," Rogue said quickly, "But you and Jean? What about Scott?"

"You mention Scott a lot, kid," Logan's brow furrowed.

Laughter flowed from her lips. But there was something wrong, like it was tainted. It was a happy sound, yet it sounded so dark.

This was not the confused girl he had picked up.

She was not the Rogue he knew.

And this scared him.

He sat down on the edge of he bed.

"What happened to the room?" He tried a different tactic.

"Ah trashed it. Sorry, but Ah thought it would be a bit obvious," Rogue said scathingly.

_Why does he have to ask such stupid questions?_

"You don't have to be rude."

"Ah know," Rogue sighed, "Look, Logan, Ah can't help being mad!"

"It's just that," Logan stopped short and rubbed his temples, "I didn't think you'd take it like that. We didn't plan for that to happen. It just did."

"Ah don't care," Rogue clipped, "You did hurt me, Logan. Ah can't just forget this ever happened!"

"Is this why you did this?"

"Partly."

"Shit," Logan said, "I should have never come back."

"Yes," Rogue said, "You shouldn't have."

"I can't leave you like this."

"Yes you can."

"You really want me to go?"

"Yes."

"Jean..."

"Want me tah throw you out and tell Scott of your little 'predicament'?"

"Marie..."

"What have Ah told you about _that name_?"

"Okay. I'll go," Logan said, "You know what, kid? You're right. Everytime I come back here... this isn't my home. It's yours. I dont have the right to come in here, and fuck up your life."

_Oh god... Ah hate my conscience!_

He turned around and Rogue mentally beat herself up.

"No!" she burst out suddenly, "If you hadn't come back, Ah think Ah would have been in an even worse state."

_Ah think..._

Logan turned around, "Made up yer mind yet?"

Rogue sighed, "How is it possible to hate someone and yet like them at the same time?"

"I don't know."

"Ah don't care! Ah hate everything!"

The words had left her mouth before she could think.

His hand moved towards her bare arm automatically, in a helpful gesture.

"No gloves," she whispered.

Logan lightly stroked her arm with a finger. Quickly and so lightly, that she could barely feel it.

This just made her feel worse. Even Logan was scared of touching her.

They all were scared of her.

She pulled away. Logan nodded his head understandingly.

They didn't say anything, and simply looked at each other. Ever since he had come back, it was as if they were always fighting. But now…

"Thanks," Rogue finally said quietly.

"For what?" Logan stood up.

"For clearing everything up."

Logan paused and then looked at her face. It was a steady gaze, an imploring one.

"You're welcome."

And then he was gone.

* * *

THREE DAYS LATER...

Explaining thoughts in words is a very hard thing to do. Sometimes there isn't a word to describe how you feel.

And that kind of summarized Rogue.

Her thoughts were all jumbled up

She wasn't jealous of Jean. Her feelings towards Logan, she reliased, were no more than schoolgirl crush. He had been the first person she had connected with when she was in her most vulnerable state. What she was jealous of, was of Jean _and_ Logan. Even Scott and Jean. They could touch and she couldn't.

Why her?

Okay, yes, it was a question she asked often. But there was a reason she asked that question so often. And that was because there was no answer. Life wasn't fair to anyone, she knew that, but why did she seem to have it worse than anyone else? What had she done? Why should she suffer?

She was a good person, or at least she had been. She envied everyone and hated them. They could pretend to understand, but they wouldn't be able to ever fully comprehend. Her nightmares and eating problems were because of her mutant powers. She was isolated. She was angry. She was hurt. She wanted this all to end.

When her mutation had first manifested,she used to dream that one day she would wake up and s would be suddenly - magically - be able to touch. It was unlikely, nearly impossible, but it was a thin shred of hope. However as time went on, reality kicked in, and it slowly dawned on her that she was stuck like this for life. And as she finally begin to learn to accept, everything began to change. Life itself wasn't what it had been.

Do you know how its like? To hate yourself for something that isn't your fault? It always took her hours to fall into a slumber plagued with horrors. In those hours, before sleep, she would lie and think about her situation. Rogue hated being trapped in that room , if you could call it one, or the way people acted around her. If they were so sorry, why wouldn't they let her out? They came everyday and talked about everything, except her problem. It was like they thought she didn't want to talk about it. But she did. But how to bring such a delicate topic up?

One day, Rogue had gotten up and decided to look in the mirror. She was feeling kind of fat. But there was no mirror. Jean and the Professor had all of them taken away. That was what her life had become.

As for suicide, Rogue couldn't deny that she had thought about it. But what was holding her back was if she failed in her attempt. People were already treating her like a freak and if she was a victim of a failed suicide attempt.... At least the paracetamol overdoes had been an accident.

Kind of.

She sat there lost in thought. Someone knocked gently on the door and then pushed it open.

"Hello?" A sweet feminine voice questioned. .

Rogue looked up in surprise, "Kitty?"

Kitty laughed, nervously, "Yeah, it's me."

"How did you…? Why...?"

"I like heard," Kitty said simply, "And… and I felt like so bad. I had to come." Then she shrugged, "Besides school is like starting real soon."

"You came back all the way from Chicago?" Rogue asked in amazement.

_She really is a great friend._

Kitty nodded.

"Kit-Kat, I don't-" Rogue stopped and cleared her head, "Why exactly were you feeling so bad?"

"Well you like know," Kitty said, "Our fight."

Rogue laughed softly, bowing her head, "That was mah fault. Ah'm the one who broke your stereo and trashed the room we shared! Ah'll pay you back..."

"Don't worry about it," Kitty winked, "We can go like halves. Besides I've been like looking for an excuse to get a new one, without having like to give the old one to like Jubes."

"Thanks," Rogue said, "Ah owe you loads."

"You seem," Kitty paused, "Serene?"

"Serene?" Rogue gave her a strange look.

Kitty laughed again, and in clear effort to change the topic held up a cookie packet. Rogue understood; Kitty probably thought Rogue wasn't up to talking about her overdose.

"You know you would like think since we live here, we would get better food than like plane food!"

_Ah guess this isn't the time to tell her Ah've never been on a plane. Except the Blackbird of course..._

A smile escaped onto Rogue's face, "Thanks. Ah am hungry."

Kitty picked it up.

"Dammit!" She tore at the package, "It won't like open. Where's Mr Logan and his claws when you like need them?"

_Hopefully nowhere._

"Let me try." Rogue leant forward.

"No!" Kitty grabbed them out of her reach, "Dr Grey said not to like strain you. Besides, I brought scissors."

She held up a pair of very sharp kitchen scissors.

Rogue's heart quickened. Her mind travelled back.

_..."No sharp objects. That means no mirrors. No razors. No knifes. No scissors. No one bringing sharp objects into your room," Jean ticked off her fingers, "Also, in light of the reason you are here no medicines will be taken without supervision."_

_The red haired doctor sighed and looked sadly down at her patient, "I'm sorry. But Rogue, none of us want any more harm to come to you. You've already damaged yourself, not to mention your liver, and if Logan hadn't found you...."_

_"Ah know," Rogue said suddenly. Her anger at Jean had subsided with the genuine sorrow that Jean was showing, "Ah know. But when do Ah get out of here?"_

_Jean sighed again and looked out the window for a moment._

_"Jean?" Rogue asked nervously._

_"We'll see."_

_And without meeting Rogue's eyes once, Jean swept from the room....._

"Rogue?" Kitty cut in, as she finally opened the packet. She held up a biscuit, "Want one?'

_Ah can't believe this… Jean said no sharp objects… but Kitty might not have known… Or couldn't believe Ah could do a thing like-_

"Rogue?" Kitty said a little more firmly.

Rogue blinked , "Sure."

A thought struck her.

Rogue didn't know where from, but she acted quickly; as soon as the thought had flitted into her mind.

She moved her hand quickly and pushed the packet off the bad.

"Shit!" she swore and leant down as if meaning to pick it up.

"Don't!" Kitty jumped up, "I'll get it!"

In the precise moment Kitty was bending over the floor, Rogue grabbed the scissors and tucked them under her pillow.

"Got it!" Kitty resurfaced, "You're getting clumsy."

"Ah know," Rogue winked to show she was joking.

Kitty looked relieved, but then her eyes narrowed.

"Where's the scissors?"

"Ah don't know."

"Funny," mumbled Kitty, Then she shrugged, "I gotta like go. Dr Grey has a stupid time limit."

She pouted. And then got up.

A sneaking suspicion entered Rogue's mind.

_Had Kitty given me the scissors on purpose?_

She shook her head. No, it was stupid. It was probably an accident. Nevertheless Kitty hadn't even bothered searching for the scissors......

"Have the packet," Kitty rested it on a table, "Save some for the next time, okay? And make sure like Jean doesn't like see it."

Kitty grinned.

Rogue was too lost in thought to respond or even smile back.

"Sorry, Katherine," she whispered, as Kitty neared the door.

Kitty turned around, "What?"

Rogue flushed, "You know, Ah'm just so sorry. Ah hope one day you'll understand."

"But I do," Kitty said, "And everything's going to be fine. Sure, you made a mistake, but a year from now I bet we can like laugh at this."

_Her naivety is so… god Ah don't think Ah can finish that sentence_

Rogue watched Kitty leave. Without knowing it, Kitty had finally broken the spell. Something in Rogue's mind had clicked into place.

A sense of reasoning was not too far away.

_

* * *

_

LATER THAT DAY....

She sighed and leant back on the soft pillows.

She traced a finger over the blade, and choked a sob. With that same finger she touched her toxic curse.

Her skin.

Rogue gazed out the window.

For the first time in weeks, she felt like she had a purpose. An answer to a question. A way out…

She suddenly laughed. She tossed her hair and beamed.

_Ah can't believe this is it…_

* * *

**This chapter was nearly done a week after I uploaded my last one, but then I went on holiday so I couldn't post it! So, real sorry, this chapter SHOULD have been up sooner.**

**Now Review!! Feedback is appreciated! **

**Crimson Lipstick**


	8. I am so sorry

**Title: **In the End ****

**Author: **Crimson Lipstick****

**Rating: **PG –13. This chapter though, does have one or two graphic scenes.

**Category: **Angst/Tragedy ****

**Disclaimer: **Hopefully by now you've got the idea that I own nothing.

**Summary:** Chronicles Rogue's life from the beginning of her downward spiral to her tragic death…

* * *

****

**TheDreamerLady: **Yes, I'm back! No, we're not at the end _yet._ As for evil Kitty, remember we're not sure if she did it on purpose. Anyway to show how thankful I am for all your reviews, I'm going to dedicate this new chapter to you! Enjoy! **Enchantedlight: **Update I did! Was I fast enough? **The Toaster:** Thankyou so much for your compliments and for adding me to your favourites. Now, as for your whole, thought- accent thing, it's a good point. People don't think in accents. However I made Rogue think in accents because (a) I didn't pick up on it until you mentioned it (b) it's to signify that is Rogue thinking not anyone else and (c) it's too late to change. Thanks again, though, and I hope you like this new chapter. **Fizzleup: **Another person who liked it, yay! As for the happy ending, I guess it depends on what your personal view of what a happy ending is. I guess, maybe this is what you can call a bittersweet ending? Tell me what you think.

**I updated in 10 days! Fast update, don't you think?**

**Don't forget to review once you've finished reading!**

* * *

**Chapter 8**

Rogue leant over the toilet seat, holding her hair in one hand. She sighed bitterly and took the customary deep breaths to settle her stomach.

She then sat down slowly onto the cold tile floor. It hurt as it rubbed on her bare feet, but after a few moments it didn't matter so much.

_Nothing does._

It was dark outside, but she didn't want to switch on the lights, for it hurt her eyes. Instead she used the light under the crack of the door. It wasn't much, but it did suffice.

According to her watch it was a little after two in the morning. She had tried to get to sleep, but as soon as she sank into a semi doze, the steel tank would emerge. The blood. The anguish.

_Him_.

She had started crying, naturally. She was tired. She needed sleep. In fact Rogue liked sleep. Because when you were asleep, you forgot all your troubles. But even though her body demanded it, she didn't want to go to sleep. She couldn't bear another nightmare.

Punching her pillow had mellowed some of her anger. But that was before her stomach had begun to feel all strange. The result of not eating.

So this was how she ended here crouching in the bathroom, her eyes all puffy and red, her hair mussed up, wiping her mouth and flushing the toilet.

God, how she hated herself. The mess she was in.

_How did it all come tah this?_

Even a week ago, everything had been so much better than how it was now.

She sighed and closed her eyes again. She was too tired to get up, yet she was too scared to go to sleep.

_Ah really don't have a choice…_

So gently she rocked herself to sleep.

* * *

"Rogue?"

_Knock, knock._

"Are you okay?"

Rogue opened one eye and groaned. The position she had fallen asleep in, had granted her a stiff neck, sore arm and an immobile leg.

_Besides that Ah did sleep kind of well.... maybe Ah didn't have a nightmare..._

"You've been in there for awhile. I came in half an hour ago. Is everything okay?"

Rogue didn't answer. She closed her eyes briefly, before sitting upright and rubbing the sleep out of her eyes.

'"Marie?" Jean tried to grab her attention.

It worked.

Rogue froze. Suddenly she was wide awake.

"Excuse me?"

Jean missed the tone in her voice.

"Marie?" she repeated.

Rogue stood up quickly, so quickly that her leg swayed and she had to clutch the wall for support. She flung open the door and faced a surprised Jean.

"What did you just call me?" She said icily.

_She didn't…_

Jean finally realised her mistake.

"Oh, I'm sorry-"

"_DON'T CALL ME THAT AGAIN!" _Rogue screamed, "_NEVER!"_

Jean stopped and stared.

"WHY DID YOU CALL ME THAT?"

_She makes me so mad! WHAT RIGHT DOES SHE HAVE?_

Jean took a step backwards, "Rogue, I'm- I'm sorry. Relax-"

"YOU'RE NOT!"

Rogue was struck by a fit of anger. One she hadn't felt she had trashed her room. And it felt _good._

"I know what…"

"YOU KNOW NOTHING! DON'T PRETEND YOU DO!" Rogue pointed a finger at Jean and strode closer to her.

Jean knew she had to control Rogue. She was a doctor, for god's sake! Why wasn't she doing anything useful?

"Please, Rogue, relax! I don't want to call anybody else!"

_Either do Ah…Kid, relax…_

_Kid?_

Rogue frowned, but calmed down slightly before picking up her rant.

"You know nothing about me! You don't know shit! You don't know how Ah cry myself tah sleep nearly every day, wishing I were dead! You can do anything you want! You have a life ahead of you!"

Jean looked at the floor and then at Rogue. She suddenly looked so much older; there were bags under her eyes, which were nearly as big as Rogue's.

_She has done a lot for me. _

"We can talk about this. It was an accident..."

"_Just leave meh alone!_"

"I don''t like leaving you alone."

"It's not like Ah can do any damage! Ah need privacy! Ah need mah space!"

"Rogue..."

"Has it ever accorded to you, Ah like being left alone?"

Jean gave up.

"Perhaps."

Jean turned on her heel and turned to leave the room. She stopped by the door and spoke without turning her head, "Call me when you've calmed down. You need to take your medication."

The door slid open and the doctor left. Rogue heard her heels echoing down the hall, before the door closed.

Rogue sighed and looked at the doors. She had tried them, of course, but they wouldn't open. For her at least.

She really was a prisoner.

_And it's all mah fault. _

* * *

TWO DAYS LATER... 

Rogue sat cross-legged on her bed. She was writing in her journal. With a flourish she signed it off, and hid the journal in her drawers under some old letters from Irene.

She had gotten Kitty a stereo; it was the least she could do. Kitty had refused it at first, but what choice did she have? Storm had it delivered to the room.

School had started yesterday and classes had to be rearranged, so one adult was always with Rogue. Rogue didn't care; it wasn't like she was going back to school anytime soon.

The Professor had been coming in to talk, more and more, but Rogue refused to say a word, hoping he would give up.

_There isn't anything left tah say._

Anyway, Jean had gone, telling Rogue she would be back in ten minutes. And Rogue knew this was it. Sure, it was sooner than she had expected but this was it.

Would she go through with it?

There was so much she hadn't done… maybe there was an-

No, this was it.

"Dr Grey?" Rogue called out, "Jean, you there?"

No answer.

Rogue smiled sadly and looked around. There was no window, but if she tried, she could imagine a beautiful fall day, with rusted colour leaves, falling off strong trees. A nice breeze perhaps and a high sun, would complete the scene.

Then she shook her head.

It was now or never.

"Ah didn't want it to end like this," she said, "Ah didn't want tah hurt any of you."

She grabbed the scissors, paused, and then turned on the stereo, which Jean had courteously left.

She closed her eyes, willing Rogue to disappear.

Marie was the only person with the right to do this.

She grabbed the scissors and pried the blades apart. They gleamed, the sharp point on either end even more so.

_Marie_ dug it into her left wrist. Deeper than before and then she jerked. Her aim was the veins that spun around her wrist, like snakes. Her skin split open, the blade diced in.

"Ah!"

A hazy feeling began to overtake her.

Deeper.

Deeper.

She moved to work on her other wrist, before finding out she could barely move the cut one. She could only scratch her right wrist while her left poured.

_Better work on this one._

She created another line.

Everything began to sway.

Blood, crimson, call it what you may, flowed out. Stained the white sheets. Ran down her wrists, onto her hands.

She began to feel dizzy.

_Ah am so sorry._

And then everything went black.

For the last time.

* * *

"What the hell are we going to do?"

Logan looked across the table at Jean and then at the clock. The bell would go soon and they would have to get this sorted out before then.

"We don't have to tell him."

Logan gave Jean disgruntled look, "Rogue knows and even if she didn't the best thing to do would be to tell him and hope he takes you back."

Normally Jean would be surprised by the amount of wisdom Logan as showing. But not today.

"But, Logan-"

"It was a mistake," Logan said firmly, "Just a mistake."

"Lo-" Jean rapped her nails on the kitchen table.

"Is Storm with the kid?" He changed the subject abruptly.

"No," Jean said in a small voice.

"Summers? The Professor? Half-Pint?"

"School started yesterday," Jean gently reminded him.

"You left her by herself?"

"What damage can she do?" Jean asked "And she prefers to be alone. I'll check up with her in a few minutes."

There was no way Jean was going to share with Logan the incident that had occurred two days. Jean knew what mistake she had made, and that was all that mattered.

"Maybe I should go…"

"Logan..."

"She needs company. She's in a critical state! I don't want anything more to happen to her!"

"And we need to talk this over!"

"What's there to talk about?" Logan leant forward.

"Logan, it doesn't have to be this way!"

"I don't want to hurt Marie!" Logan said angrily, "When she saw us k-together, she took a whole bunch of pills! I don't want to hurt her!"

"I know," Jean sighed, "But… are you saying if it weren't for Rogue we'd be together?"

"Maybe. Probably. I don't know." Logan snapped, "Everything's screwed."

Silence occupied the room for a few moments. Each was waiting for other to speak.

"Well," Jean smiled sadly, "In the end everything worked out."

"And you and Scooter will be happy."

Jean rolled her eyes, "Scott. And hopefully we'll be happy."

"I – what's that?" Logan leapt up, "Oh fuck…."

"What's what?" Jean said quickly, getting up too.

"Blood. I smell blood," he answered shortly, before running out the door

She ran out after him.

* * *

It was weird to see two adults, one your own teacher rush along the corridors like their life depended on it.

There were a group of students standing outside a classroom, doing an assignment of some sort.

Some of them began laughing. Some stared. Some whispered.

One girl however, a pretty brunette, took one look at the two adults running and immediately followed them. Her face had turned a pale white.

_God, no._

* * *

Logan burst through the door and suddenly was immobile.

She lay on the bed, and for the first time in her life, Logan realised, she looked awful. Her eyes were closed, her face was pale. She lay at a very odd angle and the expression on her face showed pain. Blood still leaked from her body, mingling with her hair.

Jean stopped in aghast behind him.

"NO!" Logan yelled.

Jean snapped out of her shock and ran towards Rogue. She knelt by the bed.

One quick examination was all she needed for her heart to stop. Her worst fears had been confirmed… and yet a small part of her saw the upside.

Scott never needed to know…

She didn't have to go back to Scott…

"Shut up!" Jean yelled at the evil thoughts, "Shut up!

"Jean…."

Logan stared at her.

"I'm okay," whispered Jean.

"I know that, woman! WHAT ABOUT MARIE?"

Jean took a deep breath, but didn't answer. The words couldn't come out of her mouth. She herself didn't believe. She simply couldn't answer the question.

Logan knelt by her, "What can be done?"

"Nothing," Jean whispered softly, "She's - she's dead."

She immediately looked down at Marie and turned her wrist away from view.

"No," Logan shook his head, "She's not. Something-something, can be done! She wasn't here for long like this! You're a doctor, Jeannie! CAN'T YOU DO ANYTHING?"

"No," Jean blinked several times, "She's gone, Logan. I'm so s-"

"She can't be! _SHE IS NOT FUCKING DEAD!"_

"Logan…"

"Damn it, Jeannie! Fuck it!" Logan suddenly broke down, "I was about to come here and check! THIS IS NOT HAPPENING! THIS ISN'T FAIR!"

"Logan!" screamed Jean, "This isn't fair to anyone!"

His animal howl of fury could be heard miles away.

The medical bay burst open again and four people raced in.

Kitty took one look at the scene and let out a strangled gasp. Scott stood there immobile. Storm closed her eyes. The Professor lowered his head sadly.

Jean swallowed and pushed aside a strand of Marie's hair.

Logan stood, his eyes glowing.

Outside on the top levels of the mansion, the school bell rang. It seemed ironic. To them, Rogue was still alive, and all that mattered to them was why their teacher had disappeared.

It's strange, you know. To see someone one day, and then the next to seem them dead. How do you know, one day, a simple 'see you tomorrow', will never happen? That one day someone close, will be dead.

Will you know the last words you said to them?

Would you regret anything?

Rogue was dead.

Yet, it was so hard to say. How the fuck could she be dead?

She was never coming back.

Never.

All they had were memories, and in time, they would fade.

They would never hear her southern accent again.

They would never see her cry again

They would never see her laugh again.

They would never see her pretty smile again.

They would never be able to change their last words to her. If they could remember them, that is.

Never.

She was gone.

And how would you like it?

In the silent aftermath of the bell they all became aware of a song playing on the stereo. Rogue- no, Marie must have left it on.

_"Playground school bell rings again  
Rain clouds come to play again  
Has no one told you she's not breathing?  
Hello I'm your mind giving you someone to talk to  
Hello  
  
If I smile and don't believe  
Soon I know I'll wake from this dream  
Don't try to fix me I'm not broken  
Hello I'm the lie living for you so you can hide  
Don't cry  
  
Suddenly I know I'm not sleeping  
Hello I'm still here  
All that's left of yesterday-"_

_SNICKT!_

The stereo was cut up; its pieces littered the air.

Logan roared and picked up what was remaining and smashed it towards the ground.

Scott turned away, biting his lip as tears clogging up his sunglasses, threatening to escape onto his cheek. For once he had nothing to say to Logan.

Kitty was inconsolable. She was crying hysterically, her shoulder shuddering with every sob. She couldn't bear to even look in the direction of the mutilated body.

Storm had her arms around Kitty. Her face was stoic, her eyes bleak. The only sign of her true feelings were the dark clouds brewing outside.

The Professor was staring out the window. His face showed anguish and pain, almost as if he had lost a child of his own.

Jean…

Jean was still kneeling besides Rogue, tears openly running down her face. She touched her hand lightly to the blood that stained her own white blouse.

With a backwards look at Kitty, she covered up the body. She ran a hand lightly over the soft white material.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, "I'm sorry for being such a bitch. I'm so sorry."

She straightened up and looked around at the surroundings, "But I'll never be as sorry as you should be Rogue. Whatever reason you had for taking your own life, wasn't good enough. We're all going to suffer."

Her eyes strayed towards Scott and Logan. Now she had a choice, one that had to be made at this unfortunate moment.

Logan was breathing heavily, knocking anything in his sight.

Scott was standing still. He was looking at the floor.

Her eyes moved backwards and forwards, until she made a decision.

And then she walked towards Logan.

And this time the tears did fall down Scott's face.

Rogue really did have a lot to answer for.

In the End.

* * *

**THIS IS NOT THE END!**

**There's an epilogue coming up. It'll be uploaded on the four month anniversary of this story - this Thursday.**

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**Okay, besides that I hope you all liked this chapter and please review, because I really appreciate them. Thanks.**

**Crimson Lipstick**

* * *


	9. In the End

**Title: **In the End

**Author: **Crimson Lipstick

**Rating: **PG –13

**Category: **Angst/Tragedy

**Disclaimer: **Hopefully by now you've got the idea that I own nothing.

**Summary:** Chronicles Rogue's life from the beginning of her downward spiral to her tragic death…

* * *

**The Toaster: **You found the last chapter, really sad? I thought it wasn't sad enough… I'm sorry though, but her death had to come eventually. I personally don't think anything else bad can happen…but read this latest chapter and tell me what you think. **Samm16: **Wow, aren't I really popular, lol! Thanks for your compliments, though I've kind of based her feelings on personal experiences. You don't like Jean? I think she's okay, but one of the easiest characters to portray as evil in the X-Men universe. Anyway, it's always great to have a brand new reviewer and I hope you like this new chapter. **TheDreamerLady:** Good writers are dangerous? God, that's put me off reading any more fanfiction for a while, lol. I'm sorry you felt that way, and when I read you review, I suddenly realised I had dedicated the chapter where Rogue actually dies, to you (sorry). But I personally think that's a very important chapter. Anyway, lastly, thanks for all of your reviews. They really helped me, and I hope you review this last chapter :-) **Lily: **Logan and Rogue are one of my fav couples too, except that it's quite a hard relationship to write about. And no, Kitty is not stupid and there might be a good to why she gave them to Rogue. But hey, thanks for you critical reviews; they make me think and reread my work.

**Please review this chapter! If you've read this story before and never reviewed, this is the perfect time! I know a few people who have added me to their favourites or author alerts, yet never reviewed. So, please, REVIEW!!**

**Yeah, I know I'm sounding desperate, but on with the story...**

* * *

**Epilogue**

Katherine Pryde, or Kitty as she was more commonly known, had a serious expression plastered on her face. She sat on the hospital bed and searched through the drawers. It wasn't something she wanted to do. She didn't want to invade Rogue's privacy, but somebody had to do it, and Jean had decided she was best suited. Somebody had to sort through the many possessions and decide what had to go, and what little could remain. Kitty didn't even want to start imagining what it would be like to clear Rogue's side of the dormitory room that they shared. If it were up to her, she would leave it exactly how Rogue had left it. But this was the beginning of a school year, and more and more students kept arriving. More people who had no idea who the hell Marie was.

The funeral would be on Saturday and Kitty wanted this all to be over before then, because only then could she move on. Try as she might, she still felt guilty. It was her scissors that had caused the damage, and she had this queasy feeling that many people still hadn't forgiven her for that. They never said anything, but it was in the way they looked at her. After all, she would never forget Jean's face as she held up the scissors and questioned how they had arrived at the scene. Kitty hoped in time they would understand, but she herself did not.

Had she given the scissors on purpose?

Because even Kitty didn't know the answer to that question. But what she did know was that Rogue was very determined. If Rogue wanted to kill herself, sooner or later she would have succeeded.

With that though in mind, she nodded softly, and continued the horrible task.

And then suddenly, with a jolt, she stopped sorting, as she came across a pale blue book. She vaguely remembered it. Yes, this was Rogue's journal. Kitty moved to put it away but then stopped, and hesitated. Biting her lip, she looked around the empty medical bay and then at the journal again before finally opening it. The first page was blank, but the rest were littered with poems, verses, entries. She only skimmed through these entries and then, on an impulse, turned to the last entry.

She froze, and tucked a strand of hair away. It was easily the neatest entry and the words seemed to fly off the page. In her mind she could hear Rogue's sweet voice, giving the words life:

* * *

_Dear everyone; Kitty, Jubilee, Logan, Scott, Jean, Storm, Kurt, Bobby, Jamie, Professor and to anyone else I've forgotten. _

_I don't know wear to start. Though I guess if you're reading this, I'm most probably dead._

_I'm sorry. God, I'm so sorry. I know that you will miss me. I know that many of you love me. I'm sorry for the pain you will suffer because of me. _

_But what about me?_

_Am I supposed to live a life of torture and misery because you want me alive? Trust me death is better than what my life is. I will be happy now. I know this for a fact._

_I couldn't go on. Every day was becoming worse than the one before. Don't you see? I had no choice. Would you have rather wanted me to live a life full of misery?_

_So don't feel sorry for me. Don't say it was a loss of a life. Because it wasn't. My life was a waste. It had reached the stage where I didn't care whether I woke the next day._

_I didn't want it to end like this. But in the end I had no choice. I always thought I would get over this. I thought that the older I got, the less bad it would seem. _

_I thought wrong._

_All of you have wonderful futures ahead of you. I don't want to spoil it for you. Don't feel sad when my name is mentioned. Just think about how happy I am. How lucky you are to love your life. To be free. To be happy._

_Time heals all wounds. Time however doesn't heal curses. In time I will become a faint memory. Someone you used to know in a past life._

_Live your life. Forget me. Remember me_

_Because I will never forget get any of you._

_I love you._

_All of you._

_But in the end, it wasn't enough._

_In the end._

_Love_

_Rogue_

_Marie_

_Kid._

* * *

Kitty stopped reading and looked up. For the next few seconds she just stared, a blank look on her face. It was all too unreal...

Finally her emotions let loose and she held a hand to her mouth, and her tears fell openly, smudging the ink. She silently cried, her breaths becoming shorter, and it took awhile for her to compose herself.

Then she took a deep breath and tore the page out, before putting the book in her backpack. .

That page was all they needed to see.

She would keep the book. It was all she had of Rogue left.

In the end.

In the end, all she had was a book.

And that new stereo Rogue had bought her...

**THE END**

* * *

**Whoa, four months to write nine chapters, lol! Anyway I'd like to say thanks to everyone who reviewed this story. All those reviews really motivated me, and I think I did pretty well, considering this is my first story. Don't forget to review this chapter, though! **

**Thanks, again.**

**Crimson Lipstick**


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